Bill McHenry is a 26-year old white male with a stocky build and a beard. His head is shaved. He responded to my ad to be interviewed for this article wearing only leather pants, leather boots and a leather vest. I could see that both of his nipples were pierced with large-gauge silver rings.
Questioner: I hope you won’t be offended if I ask you to prove to me that you’re a nullo. Just so that our readers will know that this isn’t a fake.
Bill: Sure, no problem. (stands and unbuckles pants and drops them to his ankles, revealing a smooth, shaven crotch with only a thin scar to show where his genitals once were).
Q: Thank you. That’s a remarkable sight.
(laughs and pulls pants back up). Most people think so.
Q: What made you decide to become a nullo?
(pauses). Well, it really wasn’t entirely my decision.
Q: Excuse me?
The idea wasn’t mine. It was my lover’s idea.
Q: Please explain what you mean.
Okay, it’s a long story. You have to understand my relationship with Michael before you’ll know what happened.
Q: We have plenty of time. Please go on.
Both of us were into the leather lifestyle when we met through a personal ad. Michael’s ad was very specific: he was looking for someone to completely dominate and modify to his pleasure. In other word, a slave.
The ad intrigued me. I had been in a number of B&D scenes and also some S&M, but I found them unsatisfying because they were all temporary. After the fun was over, everybody went on with life as usual.
I was looking for a complete life change. I wanted to meet someone who would be part of my life forever. Someone who would control me and change me at his whim.
Q: In other words, you’re a true masochist.
Oh yes, no doubt about that. I’ve always been totally passive in my ****** relationships.
Anyway, we met and there was instant chemistry. Michael is a few years older than me and very good looking. Our personalities meshed totally. He’s very dominant.
I went back to his place after drinks and had the best *** of my life. That’s when I knew I was going to be with Michael for a long, long time.
Q: What sort of things did you two do?
It was very heavy right away. He restrained me and whipped me for quite awhile. He put clamps on my nipples and a ball gag in my mouth. And he hung a ball bag on my sack with some very heavy weights. That bag really bounced around when Michael ****ed me from behind.
Q: Ouch.
(laughs) Yeah, no kidding. At first I didn’t think I could take the pain, but Michael worked me through it and after awhile I was flying. I was sorry when it was over.
Michael enjoyed it as much as I did. Afterwards he talked about what kind of a commitment I’d have to make if I wanted to stay with him.
Q: What did he say exactly?
Well, besides agreeing to be his slave in every way, I’d have to be ready to be modified. To have my body modified.
Q: Did he explain what he meant by that?
Not specifically, but I got the general idea. I guessed that something like castration might be part of it.
Q: How did that make you feel?
(laughs) I think it would make any guy a little hesitant.
Q: But it didn’t stop you from agreeing to Michael’s terms?
No it didn’t. I was totally hooked on this man. I knew that I was willing to pay any price to be with him.
Anyway, a few days later I moved in with Michael. He gave me the rules right away: I’d have to be ***** at all times while we were indoors, except for a leather dog collar that I could never take off. I had to keep my head shaved. And I had to wear a butt plug except when I needed to take a shit or when we were having ***.
I had to sleep on the floor next to his bed. I ate all my food on the floor, too.
The next day he took me to a piercing parlor where he had my nipples done, and a Prince Albert put into the head of my ****.
Q: Heavy stuff.
Yeah, and it got heavier. He used me as a toilet, pissing in my mouth. I had to lick his ******* clean after he took a shit, too. It was all part of a process to break down any sense of individuality I had. After awhile, I wouldn’t hesitate to do anything he asked.
Q: Did the *** get rougher?
Oh God, yeah. He started fisting me every time we had ***. But he really started concentrating on my **** and balls, working them over for hours at a time.
He put pins into the head of my **** and into my sack. He attached clothespins up and down my **** and around my sack. The pain was pretty bad. He had to gag me to keep me from screaming.
Q: When did the idea of nullification come up?
Well, it wasn’t nullification at first. He started talking about how I needed to make a greater commitment to him, to do something to show that I was dedicated to him for life.
When I asked him what he meant, he said that he wanted to take my balls.
Q: How did you respond?
Not very well at first. I told him that I liked being a man and didn’t want to become a eunuch. But he kept at me, and wore me down. He reminded me that I agreed to be modified according to his wishes, and this is what he wanted for me. Anything less would show that I wasn’t really committed to the relationship. And besides, I was a total bottom and didn’t really need my balls.
It took about a week before I agreed to be castrated. But I wasn’t happy about it, believe me.
Q: How did he castrate you?
Michael had a friend who was into the eunuch scene. One night he came over with his bag of toys, and Michael told me that this was it. I was gonna lose my nuts then and there.
Q: Did you think of resisting?
I did for a minute, but deep down I knew there was no way. I just didn’t want to lose Michael. I’d rather lose my balls.
Michael’s friend restrained me on the living room floor while Michael videotaped us. He used an elastrator to put a band around my sack.
Q: That must have really hurt.
Hell yeah. It’s liked getting kicked in the balls over and over again. I screamed for him to cut the band off, but he just kept on going, putting more bands on me. I had four bands around my sack when he finished.
I was rolling around on the floor screaming, while Michael just videotaped me. Eventually, my sack got numb and the pain subsided. I looked between my legs and could see my sack was a dark purple. I knew my balls were dying inside.
Michael and his friend left the room and turned out the light. I lay there for hours, crying because I was turning into a eunuch and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.
Q: What happened then?
Eventually I fell asleep from exhaustion. Then the light switched on and I could see Michael’s friend kneeling between my legs, touching my sack. I heard him tell Michael that my balls were dead.
Q: How did Michael react?
Very pleased. He bent down and felt around my sack. He said that it felt cold.
Michael’s friend told me that I needed to keep the bands on. He said that eventually my balls and sack would dry up and fall off. I just nodded. What else could I do at that point?
Q: Did it happen just like Michael’s friend said?
Yeah, a week or so later my package just fell off. Michael put it in a jar of alcohol to preserve it. It’s on the table next to his bed.
Q: How did things go after that?
Michael was really loving to me. He kept saying how proud he was of me, how grateful that I had made the commitment to him. He even let me sleep in his bed.
Q: What about the ***?
We waited awhile after my castration, and then took it easy until I was completely healed. At first I was able to get hard, but as the weeks went by my erections began to disappear.
That pleased Michael. He liked ****ing me and feeling my limp ****. It made his dominance over me even greater.
Q: When did he start talking about making you a nullo?
A couple of months after he took my nuts. Our *** had gotten to be just as rough as before the castration. He really got off on torturing my ****. Then he started saying stuff like, “Why do you even need this anymore?”
That freaked me out. I always thought that he might someday take my balls, but I never imagined that he’d go all the way. I told him that I wanted to keep my dick.
Q: How did he react to that?
At first he didn’t say much. But he kept pushing. Michael said I would look so nice being smooth between my legs. He said my dick was small and never got hard anymore, so what was the point of having it.
But I still resisted. I wanted to keep my ****. I felt like I wouldn’t be a man anymore without it.