RON ARTEST SELLS 1 ALBUM.......Soundscan

[bizflawless 5,000+ posts]

Trick or treat, *****s. Last Halloween was a historic day for hip-hop. No, we didn’t get the release of the long-awaited second album from Clipse (some magazine said it’s a classic, you bastards). Instead we got a grab bag of diverse rhyme slayers with many styles, many styles. Britney’s ex went head up with Chuck D’s hypeman, but they weren’t the only ones duking it out in the ten or twelve record stores (The Tower of power is no more, kids) that still exist.
Yes, it’s Wed., so the results of last week’s releases are in. Allow me to give you the results as YN Presents His First Annual Coaster Countdown. (Naysayers take note: I never actually sat and listened to any of this crap below. Life is precious and time won’t give me time. Word to the Boy called George.)

10: Ron Artest My World

SoundScan: 1

One? How’d you only sell one CD especially when millions of people seen you beatdown some crackers at a basketball game. Maybe people we’re too shook to cop the QB’s soldier’s debut. Hell, who even knew it was out? Anyway, Ron’s my dude and I think you SoundScan suckers are scamming us. Election day was yesterday but my ***** still deserves a recount.

9: Channel Live Street Science Rap

SoundScan: 20

KRS’s former castaways are still out there grindin’? Who knew? I used to live in Brooklyn and running into Hakim on the street is any music industry fu*k’s rite of passage. I thought homeboy was doin’ videos with Benny Boom. Again, 20 units? That’s disrespectful. Keep ya head up fellas, according to this spot, your sh*t is sold out. Ha!

8: Celly Cel Brings the Gumbo Pot

SoundScan: 100

This Bay Area rap vet is wearing a lot of red on his cover and I don’t want no problems. Moving on…

7: Lil Romeo Greatest Hits

SoundScan: 161

Can you believe this little tyke has 4 LPs under his belt (Take that, Mr. Budden). Might make a nice stocking stuffer for the shorties this holiday season.

6: Juggaknots Use Your Confusion

SoundScan: 535

This is some underground sh*t, so who knows how many albums were even pressed? I haven’t thought about these guys since I used to write the underground column I created in The Source.

5: CL Smooth American Me

SoundScan: 693

Life after Pete Rock? Not that good, apparently.

4: Ice-T Gangsta Rap

SoundScan: 744

Even pimpin’ his new lady out Darlene-style couldn’t save the day for the rap Hall-of-Famer.

3: Cee-Lo The Closet Freak: The Best of Cee-Lo Green The Soul Machine

SoundScan: 788

Looks like some greedy label wants a piece of that Dangermouse poontang pie.

2: Flavor Flav Flavor Flav

SoundScan: 2,181

I remember back in the early 90’s when we were actually fiendin’ for a taste of the Flavor on the solo tip. It’s obvious here that Flav has tried to parlay his new TV fame to resurrect his music career and failed miserably. Might be time to holla at VH1 to talk about Season 3, playboy.

1: Kevin Federline Playing With Fire

SoundScan: 6,485

Let me get this straight: dude gets his album out, becomes a wrestler and then decides it’s time to kick his rich white bi*ch to the curb. Wow, that’s gangsta! All I know is dude’s bars are so elementary, we struggled to find the right one to be crowned Step Your Rap Game Up’s worst of ’06. Congrats, K-Fed!

http://xxlmag.com/online/?p=6026

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[bizflawless 5,000+ posts]

lmao sucks for him

 

[Kenny Pollock 10+ year member]

LOL, one?!?!?

 

[JimJ 5,000+ posts]

Do you actually serve a purpose on this board?

 

[adio 5,000+ posts]

yes, he's here to make u reply

 

[ngsm13 5,000+ posts]

You are worthless member.

nG

 

[bigbangtheory 5,000+ posts]

Lmao at him being worthless. I think that chics *** looks dam good, not to mention that booty thread he made was cool. The rest, like this one is whacked!

 

[luvinthebass 5,000+ posts]

one emotion for this thread... //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crazy.gif.c13912c32de98515d3142759a824dae7.gif

 

[bizflawless 5,000+ posts]

Oh no im worthless? //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/frown.gif.a3531fa0534503350665a1e957861287.gif why why do u say such mean things? im so sad now, im gonna cry... //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/rolleyes.gif.c1fef805e9d1464d377451cd5bc18bfb.gif

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif im lovin tha love and def the hate on here, just keeps me motivated

 

[iamamp3pimp 5,000+ posts]

??

 

[JimJ 5,000+ posts]

I need to be motivated not to ban you...

Reasons?

 

[Captain_Ahab 5,000+ posts]

I need to be motivated not to ban you...
Reasons?

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif PWNT!

 

[ngsm13 5,000+ posts]

I need to be motivated not to ban you...
Reasons?

I as well.

nG

 

[bizflawless 5,000+ posts]

hmmmmmmmmmmm lets see,

1. i did nothing wrong....

wow and i thought mods were suppose to be fair and follow rules of the site

 

[bigbangtheory 5,000+ posts]

Oh snap....................crackle...................and POP!

For real, I just had some ginger snaps, some crackers chased by some Sierra Mist cranberry pop!