my research paper: why marijuana should be legalized.

[Kevokrook77 10+ year member]

hey man, I really liked your paper. I thought it was well-researched, informative, flowed well, and was pretty articulate. A couple suggestions though:

- The opening paragraph feels a little awkward compared to the rest of the paper, are you sure it's necessary to bring G.W. Bush into this paper? Not saying I disagree, but I think you should use an example who is a little less controversial/awkward. I dunno, just me.

- Be careful about contradicting yourself, especially in regards to marijuana and increasing/decreasing the crime rate with legalization. Maybe you don't contradict yourself and I'm confused, and if this is the case, you might want to re-word some sentences to avoid reader confusion. For example, I tripped over the sentence about how if the original goal of outlawing marijuana was to decrease crime, then why has outlawing marijuana increased crime. I like your point, but the flow of the paper suffers a lot when a reader has to re-read something to figure it out.

- I like how you mention how thousands of middle-class people are sitting in jail or wasting time and money in the criminal system for simple possession or misdemeanor crimes. You should try and tie this in to jail overcrowding and how if we didn't have people in jail for stupid marijuana crimes, jails would be less crowded and taxpayers would have to spend less money supporting these prisoners.

Just a couple points, good luck and let me know if you have any questions, I live in California and have a pretty extensive knowledge of the marijuana laws out here.

 

[cpierce 5,000+ posts]

try looking through the 10293810928309158092389012850918209381059820938109283091850293891023 other reasearch papers that stoner faggots have already done

Nice comment from "The Drunken Snowman"

 

[noob with an RS 10+ year member]

hey man, I really liked your paper. I thought it was well-researched, informative, flowed well, and was pretty articulate. A couple suggestions though:
- The opening paragraph feels a little awkward compared to the rest of the paper, are you sure it's necessary to bring G.W. Bush into this paper? Not saying I disagree, but I think you should use an example who is a little less controversial/awkward. I dunno, just me.

- Be careful about contradicting yourself, especially in regards to marijuana and increasing/decreasing the crime rate with legalization. Maybe you don't contradict yourself and I'm confused, and if this is the case, you might want to re-word some sentences to avoid reader confusion. For example, I tripped over the sentence about how if the original goal of outlawing marijuana was to decrease crime, then why has outlawing marijuana increased crime. I like your point, but the flow of the paper suffers a lot when a reader has to re-read something to figure it out.

- I like how you mention how thousands of middle-class people are sitting in jail or wasting time and money in the criminal system for simple possession or misdemeanor crimes. You should try and tie this in to jail overcrowding and how if we didn't have people in jail for stupid marijuana crimes, jails would be less crowded and taxpayers would have to spend less money supporting these prisoners.

Just a couple points, good luck and let me know if you have any questions, I live in California and have a pretty extensive knowledge of the marijuana laws out here.

awesomenessnesnessnesssss thanks for your critique i apreciate it.. hahah and yea i agree that i kinda half-assed the intro to be honest, the whole paper was kinda half-assed as i did it over a period of two days and the assignment was to research throughout the semester and such so yea.. if u have any ideas on how to tie thhat same concept of my intro using a different subject id appreciate it, but honestly, as long as i get a B average on this paper im golden! hahah.. i hope im not contradicintg myself when i try to point out that the prohibition of marijuana was a result of america trying to prevent an increase in crimes, but that isnt what has happened.. basically, im saying that the outlaw isnt even working like its suppose to and is instead, making things worse! and i didnt want to include mentioning overcrowding because i believe the fact that "innocent" people sit in jail for a mere possession charge is ENOUGH reason to legalize it.. yes its true its also related to overcrowding but thats kinda like stating the obvious and i am emphasizing that the fact that middle class workers suffer is already a good enough reason..and i live in california bro dont worry about itt i got a wealth of info on the subject.. and a wealth of the stuff toooo!!//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/biggrin.gif.d71a5d36fcbab170f2364c9f2e3946cb.gif

 

[HitManSE 10+ year member]

Finally read through most of it, anything I can point already has been. You could cram a whole lot more in there though. That too im sure you know.

The comparison to alcohol/tobacco alone is reason enough IMO. Wasting tax $ is another. Hell the reason it became illegal to begin with was stupid. Good luck with the rest of it, im sure you'll do just fine.

 

[noob with an RS 10+ year member]

Finally read through most of it, anything I can point already has been. You could cram a whole lot more in there though. That too im sure you know.
The comparison to alcohol/tobacco alone is reason enough IMO. Wasting tax $ is another. Hell the reason it became illegal to begin with was stupid. Good luck with the rest of it, im sure you'll do just fine.

the rest of it? haha thats it.. its suppose to be 2000 ords and i definitely dont care to do more than i need to!

 

[HitManSE 10+ year member]

LOL, I wasnt aware of the 2k req. Guess that more then covers it.

 

[Tiger Bass 5,000+ posts]

Noob with an RS...

Do you by any chance have the final copy or the sources for which you found everything. I'm doing a paper on this myself soon and want to go ahead and find some good sources and format for my paper.

ps. Your PM box is full