my first condom...

[regal8r 5,000+ posts]

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went into a drugstore to buy a package of condoms. There was a beautiful woman behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.

She handed me the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No."

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store. It was empty. She said, "Just a minute," and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it.

She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. She asked, "Do these excite you?"

Well! , I was so dumbstruck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said, it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and laid down on a desk.

"Well, come on," she insisted, "we don't have much time."

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and pow, I was done within a few minutes.

She looked at me with a frown. "Did you put that condom on?"

I replied, "I sure did," and held up my thumb to show her.

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Click to read more...

 

[AllStar1500bd 5,000+ posts]

good one //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/woot.gif.aaa6090e619a97b6090d16dd863c5a69.gif

{alt + s]

 

[XtrmAudioCncpts 10+ year member]

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/rotflol.gif.b453361716769b8110ddefc85ff03cd2.gif

 

[marleyskater420 5,000+ posts]

i sat for a minute and decided wether or not to reply to this thread.

I still say I shoulda just clicked the back button.

 

[bimma85 5,000+ posts]

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[trevor87 5,000+ posts]

haha that was great

 

[XtrmAudioCncpts 10+ year member]

now i almost wish it was a true story

 

[regal8r 5,000+ posts]

another condom related joke:

The Test

True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

"The moral of this story is:"

"Always keep your condoms in your car."

 

[regal8r 5,000+ posts]

now i almost wish it was a true story

x2 gazillion lol

 

[vosschs 5,000+ posts]

i sat for a minute and decided wether or not to reply to this thread.

I still say I shoulda just clicked the back button.

lol i did the exact thing..... i read it... i was like whatever sounds kinda gay... clicked back... then 3 others replied... and i saw this... so i replied

 

[netherland24 5,000+ posts]

incredible... lol

 

[mikey060 10+ year member]

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[MikeyB 5,000+ posts]

OMG!!!! Thats awesome lol, saving that! //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/clap.gif.178cba2c538c68e720c727fcb024b19c.gif//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smash.gif.499e08a4a35ffaf54f4c8194fb8fe8ed.gif//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/rotflol.gif.b453361716769b8110ddefc85ff03cd2.gif//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/hilarious.gif.02a037aad04aa96f19982b298a3d70a8.gif

 

[kotec123 10+ year member]

"The moral of this story is:"
"Always keep your condoms in your car."

lol def a good one.....first one is good too....

 

[bigwheel15 10+ year member]

Haha, good one.