Jokes, funny pics, and brainteasers thread

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost

 

everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could

 

move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked "What is this,

 

Father?"

 

The father, never having seen an elevator, responded "Son, I have never

 

seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the

 

boy and his father were watching in amazement, a fat old lady in wheel

 

chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened

 

and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and

 

the boy and his father watched small circular numbers above the walls

 

light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last

 

number and then began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls

 

opened and a

 

gorgeous 24-year old blonde stepped out. The father said quietly to his

 

son...

 

"Go get your mother

 

 
History of Middle Finger

 



 

Well, now......here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?

 

read on:

 

Giving the Finger

 

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future.

 



 

This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew"). Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!

 

"PLUCK YEW!"

 

 

 

Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant

 

cluster at the beginning has gradually hanged to a labiodental fricative 'F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!

 

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the

 

longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."

 

IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!

 

 
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two retired and fell asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

 

 

At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

 

 

 

 

"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.

 

 

 

 

"Good," she replies. "Get your own **** blanket!"

 

 

 

 

After a moment of silence, he farted

 

 
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Johnny Drama

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