How do you prevent a downward spiral in a kid?

[mcsoul 10+ year member]

When I was growing up I knew some kids that were out of control. It just seemed like they did not give a fuk about any authority or anybody. I did not know them well enough to say what was different about what they had at home.

 

[DidUHearThat? 10+ year member]

For starters, find better sources of parenting advice that CA.com.

 

[bigbirney420 10+ year member]

Its not one thing or another. Being involved in their lives as a brother, or parent is critical. You have to be supportive, but they have to want help usually, or hit rock bottom themselves.

After my mom died my lil brother was selling meth and dropped out of school while I was away at college. I came home and beat his *** numerous times, but they have to want help. Ironically I introduced him to drugs, so its tough to be a dick.

 

[edzy 10+ year member]

riddelin?

 

[bigbangtheory 5,000+ posts]

That's f#cked up. Your right he needs help, but probably professional help from that kind of abuse.

Well he has had a bunch of that too. They say nothing is wrong with him. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crazy.gif.c13912c32de98515d3142759a824dae7.gif

He woo's his way around people and can convince it is not him and someone else, which he is right to an extent, but he has allowed himself to believe he is an angel and it is everyone else's fault.

The kid had help to make him the way he is, no doubt, but he knows in his heart he is fawking up..........it's just that he don't care one bit and hasn't for years. I believe when he starts to give a shit about something constructive, then he will change........maybe.

But hospitals, psycholigists, JJC, house arrest hasn't done shit for him. I doubt at this point if Prison would change his life. That is how bad off he is. Quite sad actually.

 

[bigbirney420 10+ year member]

riddelin?

Its Ritalin, and thats for ADD and stuff, not so much behavioral issues. Not to mention in older kids its more of a drug like speed to their system.

 

[subzero 5,000+ posts]

You know what you need to do to raise a child. YOu cant stop them from acting out and rebelling. and if they smoke weed then ok, dont make them agressive and act out to try harder drugs to feel harder or act cooler around friends. Be home every day and show them you care by cook, clean, help them learn, spend time having fun. Sound easy, but its not. I had trouble growing up. I dropped out at 16, I did drugs, I skipped school and went to keggers till the AM hours. thats part of kids life. Parents and gaurdians need to respect that kids need to explore in there own terms. but if your not around to answer a question or intervien then the kids go to what they know. Friends influence to be accepted. peer presure. Parent around give kids alturnatives to choices and situations like.... "I am going to uncle house to watch nascar with dad"... My sis got prego at 14. Dad used to work till 8pm, and mom worked all different hours, she was a nurse. Sis, ditched and involved with the indo and what not. Now she has a son whom gives her more trouble that she can bargin for. she has to work and go to school raising a teenager because she dropped out then. I had to restrain him a few times because he's got his dad anger aggression disorder. but I try to get him and his brothers involved , I invite them with me to car comps and concerts and hang out. rather then let them go with other kids whom seem to have the same issue. If I had alot of money then I would bring some of his friends sometimes but. Look, If a kid is having issues then issolate and love. All kids are different but they all need the same. I wish I had my father around me more.. Maybe I would have graduated and finished college. I know I would be in better shape than I am in now... My two cents. on teens.

 

[x2o 10+ year member]

Holy long poast batman, sorry about that. No cliffs though, if your interested in the topic, read this wall of text.

My older brother and my younger brother both hit a downward spiral.

My older brother it started when he was about 14. Drugs, alcohol, stealing cars, stealing pills, etc. Honestly, if you were to ask me why, I'm not sure what caused it. I mean, after all the drugs, jail time, etc, we took him to therapy and psychologists, and it came back that he had BiPolar disorder and some kind of Explosive disorder, a problem in his frontal lobe or something that cause him not to be able to control what and when his eplosions of rage and such were. I'm assuming he turned to drugs and all that to ease those explosions. It started off with just Weed, but progressed onto Xanax, Oxy-(all types), dextro, etc, etc. Honestly, being the middle child and witnessing all this happen to my brother, I'm a bit messed up myself. I'm a manic depressive, but I manage to keep it under control most times. I'm the only normal one in the family, the one who is trying to succeed I suppose. Going to college this fall, majoring in Electrical Engineering.

My little brother is starting to spiral, and I mean, you would expect me to be able to do something. I witnessed my brother's crash, and you would expect me to know what to say to try to get my younger brother out of the same end. But no, I don't know. I feel like such a failure in that sense, and that there is nothing I can do. Not sure if it's that I can't, or that I don't want it. The way I've managed to keep it normal and sane in my own life is to not contact my family. Not to mention my uncle is a terrible, terrible man.

Honestly, it does come down to parenting, but in the end I think if the kid is strong enough that he wants to make it, and he has at least ONE friend who can help him get through that'll care about him/her no matter what, the kid can still make it. I was beyond suicidal quite a few times, but I had this one person who would always give me a reason.. ******* is a VERY selfish act. Now that I'm clear-minded for now I look back and realize how dumb some things are, but they make so much sense at the time.

 

[bigbangtheory 5,000+ posts]

Honestly I believe it is all about parenting. If you have a good strong family base, then you should be able to grow up without doing many dumb things.

I was an only child, so maybe that is why I feel the way I do though.

It is funny though, now I am a father to two step daughters and had my first child, my daughter who is 21 months now and we have another one on the way.

Least I know in my heart I will always be there for them, irreguardless if me and the wife didn't make it.

 

[adio 5,000+ posts]

This question goes out to those of you who have brothersor sisters that grew up in the same home as you, and you

witnessed their downward spiral. You know what I'm talking

about or I'm not talking to you. Drugs, crime, or worse.

From your perspective, did you notice it first, before your parents?

Did you feel you had some insight, like if dad had only .... whatever

it was, said or did something different. What should they have done

(in your mind) to prevent the bad times that came.

Did they treat you differently than the other person, in such a way that

may explain why you were OK?

I suppose this question could also be opened up to those who went the

wrong way and came back from it as well, I would not mind hearing from

you too. But this primarily is a question to the witness of the spiral.

new/diff environment

 

[eharri3 10+ year member]

Maybe time for tough love. Try a visit to a medium or maximum security prison. Let him see how those guys live, then let him talk to a murderer or ****** doing life through the glass. If the kid 'THINKS' he's an invulnerable little badass it may just take someone provin to him that he really ain't shit and that he should stop tryin to be. He needs to be introduced to someone who started on petty shit, progressed to worse crimes, and finally got some sense knocked into em.

People who haven't been caught and/or punished harshly enough yet think their shit don't stink and usually are never sorry about anything.

People who do a rough stretch behind bars, it's 50/50. Some get out and set themselves straight, others others get right back to business.

The people who progressed from bad to worse then get 20 years or life or shit like that, and those doors close and they realize it's forever, those are the ones who tend to get saved or find god, or else they spend the rest of their incarceration trying to kill themselves. And even then maybe that's something a kid on the wrong path should see for himself too.

This works best though if the kid is only a 'poser' badass who hasn't really gotten his hands dirty yet.

 

[Notloud00 10+ year member]

This question goes out to those of you who have brothersor sisters that grew up in the same home as you, and you

witnessed their downward spiral. You know what I'm talking

about or I'm not talking to you. Drugs, crime, or worse.

From your perspective, did you notice it first, before your parents?

Did you feel you had some insight, like if dad had only .... whatever

it was, said or did something different. What should they have done

(in your mind) to prevent the bad times that came.

Did they treat you differently than the other person, in such a way that

may explain why you were OK?

I suppose this question could also be opened up to those who went the

wrong way and came back from it as well, I would not mind hearing from

you too. But this primarily is a question to the witness of the spiral.

troll fail //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/fyi.gif.9f1f679348da7204ce960cfc74bca8e0.gif

 

[cobra65427289 10+ year member]

Have Maury send them to boot camp???

 

[BoomBoomBoy 10+ year member]

This question goes out to those of you who have brothersor sisters that grew up in the same home as you, and you

witnessed their downward spiral. You know what I'm talking

about or I'm not talking to you. Drugs, crime, or worse.

From your perspective, did you notice it first, before your parents?

Did you feel you had some insight, like if dad had only .... whatever

it was, said or did something different. What should they have done

(in your mind) to prevent the bad times that came.

Did they treat you differently than the other person, in such a way that

may explain why you were OK?

I suppose this question could also be opened up to those who went the

wrong way and came back from it as well, I would not mind hearing from

you too. But this primarily is a question to the witness of the spiral.

If he's of age, there is nothing better than the U.S. military, to add some order into the life of a young man.

Preferably the USMC!

Semper Fidelus!

 

[bigbangtheory 5,000+ posts]

Maybe time for tough love. Try a visit to a medium or maximum security prison. Let him see how those guys live, then let him talk to a murderer or ****** doing life through the glass. If the kid 'THINKS' he's an invulnerable little badass it may just take someone provin to him that he really ain't shit and that he should stop tryin to be. He needs to be introduced to someone who started on petty shit, progressed to worse crimes, and finally got some sense knocked into em.
People who haven't been caught and/or punished harshly enough yet think their shit don't stink and usually are never sorry about anything.

People who do a rough stretch behind bars, it's 50/50. Some get out and set themselves straight, others others get right back to business.

The people who progressed from bad to worse then get 20 years or life or shit like that, and those doors close and they realize it's forever, those are the ones who tend to get saved or find god, or else they spend the rest of their incarceration trying to kill themselves. And even then maybe that's something a kid on the wrong path should see for himself too.

This works best though if the kid is only a 'poser' badass who hasn't really gotten his hands dirty yet.

How would you go about doing something like this?

Just go to your local prison and ask them if your newphew could get some cell time with him? //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif Joking aside, I would like to know. I wouldn't mind doing this for my wifes newphew, because he sounds a lot like what you said someone can lead into.