Ever snapped on your woman and said stuff you regret?

[bikinpunk 10+ year member]

Me and the mrs. got into it today. We argue ocassionally, maybe once every couple months but its little quibbles about why we don't need more furniture or why I don't need an iPod, etc etc. However, this was on a whole new level. I feel like I don't get much time to do things I want to, and she's working all the time so she feels we don't spend enough time together. Today she literally lost it and went into a blind rage, just cussing at me (first time I've EVER seen her this mad in 4 years) and that triggered me and we cussed each other out. She hit me in the chest and I called her a ***** to her face a couple times. I don't even cuss and I chewed her out up & down. We worked things out between us, but god, I feel horrible. I've grown up being made to feel like shit and I always say I'm never going to treat anyone the way my dad has treated me. He doesn't beat me, and as a matter of fact is a pretty good dad, except he's always made me feel like I can't do things and does the same to my brothers. He and I have had a few major falling outs over the issue as well. I told Lindsey that if I ever treat my kids like that to smack me upside the head, don't even try to tell me, just smack me because sometimes I catch myself doing it too. I've had a few violent outbursts but never at anyone. It usually consists of me getting mad at myself because I've failed at something or I can't do something right and just cussing like a sailor and punching things. Within the past year or so it's just getting worse. My old man even made me feel like shit so bad that I hung up on him and just cried sitting in the Home Depot parking lot. My fiance told my mom about it, who told my dad, who apologized to me, but I just brush it off until something comes up later and I blow up. I'm honestly thinking about seeing someone so I can learn to deal with my anger better. I just needed to get this off my chest and vent/whine about how I hate myself for saying horrible things to a woman I truly love with all my heart. Don't get me wrong. She knows I love her, and I'm the near perfect gentleman. I buy her flowers ocassionally, give her foot massages, etc etc, and I truly believe that it's just wrong to even look at another woman because I don't want her to feel like there's something wrong with her. I dunno, it just kind of scares me that my anger got to me so bad that I didn't care what I said, as long as I hurt her feelings back. I saw something in me today that I never want to see again, and I feel like I deserve a beating for making her feel like crap.

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[mike dressure 10+ year member]

hey bud it happens i been together with my wife going on 6 years, we have our moments. it is part of love you can say lol. just work on your anger issues dont bunch them up inside and then explode. try and talk about your problems as much as possible without letting it burst into something it dont need to be. just remember your loved one's are those who keep you sane dont lose them to a quick burst of rage.

 

[bikinpunk 10+ year member]

I appreciate it. Today was the first time i've ever seen her blow up. I told her that I was actually proud of her for speaking up, but that she and I both need to learn to talk sooner when something bothering us.

The reason I blew up is because it's truly the only defense I know. When someone comes at me, I try to take them down before they get a shot at me. She understands that, luckily, so working through this wasn't hard. We talked about our blow-up immediately because we are both the type of people who like to resolve things quickly. We both believe life is too short to spend one minute mad at each other. We have a very strong bond. After the argument, I apologized for yelling at her, and she apologized for the same. We then went to consult with a lady who's making our wedding cake. We are over it as far as arguing goes, but I just don't like myself for saying what I said. period. I became today what I work hard not to be.

 

[Army-Killa]

It aint love unless you both got black eyes

 

[mike dressure 10+ year member]

I appreciate it. Today was the first time i've ever seen her blow up. I told her that I was actually proud of her for speaking up, but that she and I both need to learn to talk sooner when something bothering us.
The reason I blew up is because it's truly the only defense I know. When someone comes at me, I try to take them down before they get a shot at me. She understands that, luckily, so working through this wasn't hard. We talked about our blow-up immediately because we are both the type of people who like to resolve things quickly. We both believe life is too short to spend one minute mad at each other. We have a very strong bond. After the argument, I apologized for yelling at her, and she apologized for the same. We then went to consult with a lady who's making our wedding cake. We are over it as far as arguing goes, but I just don't like myself for saying what I said. period. I became today what I work hard not to be.

initially what any human being does. part of human nature. im glad to see someone who care's as much about a women as i do. i had a bit of a different childhood then you because i never met my father. i told my self and my wife that i wouldnt do that to my 2 daughter's. seems like evryone now day's has a broken home in someway's and it effects you as an adult. sad aint it. we learn to deal with it though and im glad to see you are doing that yourself.

 

[mike dressure 10+ year member]

It aint love unless you both got black eyes

you must really be in love lol. love hurts:blackeye:

 

[luvinthebass 5,000+ posts]

I just stay single and not avoid the drama bullshit

 

[MisterGrubbs 5,000+ posts]

Bro things like that will happen, it's honestly just a part of love and a part of marriage - nothing's perfect and if it is, you need to take a second look.

Friends, Family, Loved ones, whatever - you'll always fight for no reason sometimes, for good reasons others, but you'll always fight. Pick up the pieces, start building again, and do whatever you can not to make the same mistakes as you have in the past, it's all that you can do

It's good that you set your problems at ease and that it's said and done, because some people cant **** it up and shut it up long enough to do that, just dont take shit for granted and strive to be better.

Shit happens, it's life.

 

[2kchevy06civic 5,000+ posts]

As you stated, I think you just need to work on talking about things that bother you before it builds up into an outburst like what happened today. I'm not married but I can relate with a family situation between my mother and I many years ago. We went through a rough point where we were constantly fighting and I never wanted to be home. I would just come home and she would instantly start a fight with me over stupid stuff. I said a lot of things I regret to this day but we eventually worked it out.

This easiest way to solve a problem is by talking, you can't always read each others minds.

 

[bikinpunk 10+ year member]

nothing's perfect and if it is, you need to take a second look.

Haha. Her sister dated a guy for 5 months, then they got married in June. She says that me and Lindsey argue alot, and it pisses lindsey off because she tries to make it sound like their perfect and we're not (her sister is the middle child and is pampered by their parents). I always tell lindsey just wait. If people aren't arguing it means someone is giving in too much, and sooner or later it's going to surface.

 

[SyKo13 5,000+ posts]

I've learned from reading this.....

 

[Demi 10+ year member]

Sounds rough brother, I cant tell you that its very easy for to people to drive each other up the wall and not realize it. I dont know the things im doing wrong until my girl and i get into a fight, and vice versa. When something bothers either one of you, you can put it off because you love them, that stuff piles up though. She was wrong to blow up on you, but im sure she felt justified. You made the situation much worse by reacting defensively, for which no one can blame you. Its one of those things dude, were if you find yourself in that situation to remain calm if you can, its not easy belive me, but if you can, she will calm down too. Perhaps instead of talking to us though, maybe you should explain how you feel, not just apologize, but really dig down and find out between the two of you were these angry emotions are coming from. Best of luck man, you'll patch it up.

 

[Captain_Ahab 5,000+ posts]

I've learned from reading this.....

x2..

After my major thread it seems that people here can actually give GOOD relationship advice and not FLAME...

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

I would rather give in than fight, but then again, I always got my eye for the next woman as well.

 

[bikinpunk 10+ year member]

maybe you should explain how you feel, not just apologize, but really dig down and find out between the two of you were these angry emotions are coming from. Best of luck man, you'll patch it up.

We spent a long time talking about it, and we're over the whole thing now. I just posted so I could vent even further.