Bill Hicks

[badm0f0 10+ year member]

Funniest comedian I think ive ever heard, and hes from Houston! Sucks hes dead. Anyone seen his dvd or heard his recordings?

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[vasilios 10+ year member]

ive only heard of him from the tool album, "aenema" (or however you spell it).

from what time period is he from?

 

[badm0f0 10+ year member]

Mostly 80s. He died in 1994.

"How much do you smoke, sir? Two packs a day, is that right? *****. I go through two lighters a day. That's right, two lighters! You're a health nut compared to me. You're like the Jack LaLanne of smokers compared to me."

I was talking about blowjobs and a woman in the audience shouted "You ever tried it?" I said "Yeah. Almost broke my back..."

I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I recommend you look around the world in which we live...and shut your ****ing mouth.

Non-smokers die every day. Sleep tight! I know you've employed some kind of eternal life fantasy because you've chosen not to smoke. Let me be the first to pop that bubble and send you hurtling back to reality - because you're dead too. And you know what doctors say? "Shit, if only you'd smoked - we'd have the technology to help you. It's you people dying from nothing who are screwed". I've got all sorts of neat shit waiting for me - oxygen tent, iron lung...it's like going to dandy.

funny shit

 

[DBfan187 5,000+ posts]

People are bringing shotguns to UFO sightings in Fife, Alabama. I asked a guy, "Why do you bring a gun to a UFO sighting?" Guy said, "Way-ul, we didn' wanna be ab-duc-ted." If I lived in Fife, Alabama, I would be on my hands and knees every night praying for abduction.

 

[badm0f0 10+ year member]

People are bringing shotguns to UFO sightings in Fife, Alabama. I asked a guy, "Why do you bring a gun to a UFO sighting?" Guy said, "Way-ul, we didn' wanna be ab-duc-ted." If I lived in Fife, Alabama, I would be on my hands and knees every night praying for abduction.

lol

 

[DBfan187 5,000+ posts]

Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ***.

 

[DBfan187 5,000+ posts]

I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage.