bad *** weekend bro

[armitank]

yo homie

It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the *****es I know, Jessica. She is really **** hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to **** her. So be it.

I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari's have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my dick. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my dick. Booya.

Flash forward to like 10 minutes later. My 30 inch dick is going inside of her ******, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm **** her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my dick. There had to have been about two pints of *** everywhere. People say I *** like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.

I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.

Click to read more...

 

[revrider1 5,000+ posts]

Hmm

 

[Tone415 10+ year member]

i lol'ed

 

[galacticmonkey 5,000+ posts]

No.

 

[armitank]

No.

pfft.

 

[WhiteEX 10+ year member]

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

[revrider1 5,000+ posts]

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/silly.gif.3549b64aaa5b6729eb8e865319a3234f.gif

 

[armitank]

Dude, ladybugs ****ing rock. They're just beetles, but on hard mode. Bright as the sun with absolutely no defenses. Shit they fly fast, and they spread their wings like ****ing ballers. This one climbed up to the top of my monitor slowly, as I watched it. Once it made it up, it turned around, looked at me for a second, and spread it's wings and took off at light speed, aiming right at my head. I almost didn't dodge in time.

****ing badass. I mean they can't do shit, but ****, you gotta respect that. People give them shit all the time because they're tiny and colorful, but they don't give a ****. They just go about their business eating aphids and not giving a dick about anyone else.

This ****er is so hardcore he flew into my house and doesn't even want to leave. "**** eating", he says. My room's ****ing air tight too; the only way he could of gotten in was through my A/C, which is filled with whirlling blades. He must have saw that shit and thought "*****, I'll take you on."

Ladybugs. ****ing awesome.

 

[Andrizzle 10+ year member]

when I started reading I knew it was going to be someone trying to be funny. I gave you the benefit of the doubt by trying to make myself laugh as I continued down the paragraph. Sorry I just couldn't do it. 404 Funny Not Found

 

[memphisman00 10+ year member]

u fail

/canadian

 

[MmatsDude 10+ year member]

Lmfao!!

 

[G.W.Kush]

Dude, ladybugs ****ing rock. They're just beetles, but on hard mode. Bright as the sun with absolutely no defenses. Shit they fly fast, and they spread their wings like ****ing ballers. This one climbed up to the top of my monitor slowly, as I watched it. Once it made it up, it turned around, looked at me for a second, and spread it's wings and took off at light speed, aiming right at my head. I almost didn't dodge in time.
****ing badass. I mean they can't do shit, but ****, you gotta respect that. People give them shit all the time because they're tiny and colorful, but they don't give a ****. They just go about their business eating aphids and not giving a dick about anyone else.

This ****er is so hardcore he flew into my house and doesn't even want to leave. "**** eating", he says. My room's ****ing air tight too; the only way he could of gotten in was through my A/C, which is filled with whirlling blades. He must have saw that shit and thought "*****, I'll take you on."

Ladybugs. ****ing awesome.

what are we smoking in this thread? just curious.

 

[memphisman00 10+ year member]

what are we smoking in this thread? just curious.

penis?

 

[armitank]

what are we smoking in this thread? just curious.

titanium kush

 

[G.W.Kush]

i thought it was more like DMT or Crack.

carry on.

pics of maserati ferrari buggati hybrid?