Serious advice: you're 18 years old and are acting like your life is over. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, convincing yourself that you really love her you could be out meeting new people and enjoying life. She left you for an ex-boyfriend, which is a pretty obvious signal that you are not satisfying her and she doesn't love you, and all you can do is cry yourself to sleep listening to bad, emo-trash music. Lying to yourself by saying that you truly love her is the stupidest thing you can do. It's a sign that you are either afraid of change or scared of altering the routines in your life to which you've become accustomed, and you're at the precise age when you need to learn how to do these things. Stop being a pansy, go screw a few random slores, listen to a Megadeath CD, and worry about real love when you're a real adult. Stop wasting the best years of your life over a broad who doesn't even want to be with you, because your life will really **** once your start making mortgage payments.