yo

[infamous_e46 5,000+ posts]

 

[infamous_e46 5,000+ posts]

 

[infamous_e46 5,000+ posts]

 

[infamous_e46 5,000+ posts]

 

[infamous_e46 5,000+ posts]

 

[infamous_e46 5,000+ posts]

 

[MikeyF 10+ year member]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vAfXNzXueE&feature=player_embedded

Perhaps the best commercial out, period. And that Jeep thing above, definitely worth the read, at least the first paragraph.

 

[subzero 5,000+ posts]

I likey....

 

[matt_bennett05 10+ year member]

I likey....

Funny-ish... but too long to be short and sweet. Too detailed to leave her mindphucked

 

[*SlappinAzz*]

hmm

 

[infamous_e46 5,000+ posts]

 

[infamous_e46 5,000+ posts]

It all started when I started dating this women whom I was crazy for. I had been in love with her since high school. From time to time she would want me to stick a banana in her before *** to get her in the mood. At first it was awkward. It eventually got to a point where I too was also having *** with fruit as a kind of foreplay. Don't judge me. I was head over heels for this woman and would do anything to make her happy. I never let her know in the beginning I was a little annoyed (and jealous) that a banana was penetraiting her wet ******. Then I also never told her in the beginning how odd and freaky I felt the first time I stuck my ***** into a orange. Although I did like her licking off the juice afterwards. I also never told her after countless times bring fruit into our bedroom that I started to like it. And that I sometime had *** with fruit while she was away at work. So that time you got upset that the last apple was missing, Jeffery really didn't come over to visit and ate it. I had *** with it.

Then one day she left me. That's when I grew into a deep depression. However that depression did not stop me from continuing to have *** with fruit. I was completely satisfied, even in my depressed state. If you cut the correct size hole into anything, it could be magical. When I ********** I of course would throw it away. But there was one time or two the *** was so amazing I kept it around for another go-round. Then came the day when I got over the evil women who had broke my heart. I started to hate everything about her. Which brought me to a point where my I started to doubt weather or not I should continue to enjoy having *** with fruit since she introduced me to it.

Around that time I was very confused on what I should do next I happened to see the evil wench. I happened to be on a different side of town and needed to run to the store for some fruit rollups (ironic I know) for my neice's lunch the next day. I strolled into the grocery store like nothing. I was just about to make a comment inside my head how ghetto the store was when I saw her. I had heard rumors that she had moved on and was seeing someone. But this time she was solo. I pretended I did not see her but it was too late. She spotted me. ****! I knew I should have gone to another checkout lane. I said hello and he had a forced short conversation. I could not help but notice THE ****ING FRUIT SHE WAS BUYING! You ****ing ****, like I am not supposed to know what those bananas, apples, oranges were for?

I was pissed. I decided no more *** with fruit. That was the final straw. **** that ***** and her kinky ****** outlets.

That lasted all but a few days but then I began to get horney. NO! I couldn't do it. I toss all the fruit out my window. I WAS DONE! I had never paid for *** and wasn;t exactly sure how to go about doing that without getting caught so that was out of the question. I need stimulation! I needed something! Then as a spontanious desperate act I slammed my ***** into the peanut butter. The soft sticky goo made me melt inside. What was this utopia of ****** pleasure that I had discovered? I did not know what was more pleasing. The *** with the peanut butter jar or having the dog lick it off afterwards.

So to my ex.... **** you. I am over you and over *** with fruit. I have moved on myself. To a new avenue of pleasure. And it doesn't involve anything you ever taught me.

 

[infamous_e46 5,000+ posts]

 

[infamous_e46 5,000+ posts]

 

[05fronty 5,000+ posts]

get my daily lutz from this thread