Wish I had pics.

Well last night I apparently drank too much beer in too short of a time. I hurled in bed. With my wife there. She was not impressed. I woke up on the floor in the middle of the night like WFT?
WFT?

What fvck the?

Was there 4 big black guys in your place in bed or something?

 
WFT?
What fvck the?

Was there 4 big black guys in your place in bed or something?
I was like Wholly F ck Tim!!!

or it was just a typo, but I can't remember what my actual first thought was, other than the floor is not for sleeping on. So I climb into bed and my wife asks if my pillow is still wet. At that point it didn't matter.

So in an attemp to turn this thread - WHATS The Most F-ed up drunk night thing to happen to yas? This aint my number one. I'll think of a better....

 
like i said earlier...

i got in a fight with my girl.. went out got a bottle of captin morgans... went to a party..... woke up in her back yard with a bag of wonder bread.... well she had woke me up.. she said she was looking for me all night and was worried.. she said there is a trail of bread crumbs and pieces of bread, so she fallowed them and they lead her to me..

turns out i got drunk at the part.. fell asleep behind my homeboys car.. he gave me some bread to eat to soak up the alcohal. took me home and dropped me off in the drive way... i have no clue how i ended up in the back yeard... ****in felt like a pillow top bead to me.....

 
One time I was drunk and pissed in bed (with wife next to me) and just kind of sat there for a while pissing laying down on my side. It was very odd because I could tell I was pissing the bed but the part of my brain that should have said 'Hey you should not be pissing in the bed' didn't go off and I just kind of pee'd away.

About 30 seconds after I somehow snapped out of it and woke the wife up to show her what I had done. She was not impressed.

Another time I drank too much and was leaving my apt and puked all on the steps and walls of the hallway exorcist style (minus the head spinning) and my wife went out and cleaned it up for me. I told her to just leave it because no one would know who it was and the landlord would do it next time he came out but she didn't go for it.

 
One time I was drunk and pissed in bed (with wife next to me) and just kind of sat there for a while pissing laying down on my side. It was very odd because I could tell I was pissing the bed but the part of my brain that should have said 'Hey you should not be pissing in the bed' didn't go off and I just kind of pee'd away.
About 30 seconds after I somehow snapped out of it and woke the wife up to show her what I had done. She was not impressed.

Another time I drank too much and was leaving my apt and puked all on the steps and walls of the hallway exorcist style (minus the head spinning) and my wife went out and cleaned it up for me. I told her to just leave it because no one would know who it was and the landlord would do it next time he came out but she didn't go for it.
Yeah, nothing beats a wife that'll put up with this kinda activity.

 
One time I was drunk and pissed in bed (with wife next to me) and just kind of sat there for a while pissing laying down on my side. It was very odd because I could tell I was pissing the bed but the part of my brain that should have said 'Hey you should not be pissing in the bed' didn't go off and I just kind of pee'd away.
About 30 seconds after I somehow snapped out of it and woke the wife up to show her what I had done. She was not impressed.

Another time I drank too much and was leaving my apt and puked all on the steps and walls of the hallway exorcist style (minus the head spinning) and my wife went out and cleaned it up for me. I told her to just leave it because no one would know who it was and the landlord would do it next time he came out but she didn't go for it.
wow.//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif:laugh://content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/toast.gif.bc0657bf54b9ee653b6438524461341e.gif

 
Yeah, nothing beats a wife that'll put up with this kinda activity.
In my defense I do not act like this anymore, I hardly ever get drunk anymore and the closest I have come to pissing someplace I shouldn't have was in the shower (had a boner and had to piss bad could not wait for him to calm down)

The best was the first time I EVER drank, I was 15 I think I drank a 40 and a big 54 oz jug of some shit and a little MD 20/20. The skank I was with dissed me for some other dude (she was a fat pig anyway but the only one who could get me alcohol) so I walked around myself for a while and walked into the super market (Purity Supreme for those of you who may remember them) and I knew where the bathroom was (in the back upstairs) as I grew up going to this store and had many of easter egg hunts there as a kid.

Anyway on my way to the bathroom I started to get really queezy and all of a sudden leaned over into the red meat section of the meat dept and tossed chunks all over the place, I don't remember exactly what I was looking at but vaugely remember chopped steak (the kind you deep fry) anyway I stumbled to the back of the store, up the stairs and proceeded to sit on a shitter and fall asleep for a while. I am not sure how long it was but I would say an hour and a half to two hours and woke up to my pager going off.

After realizing what had happened I got up, walked downstairs and walked around the meat section and there was still barf all over the place (It was pretty late and purity was a ghetto *** market in their defense) and went to a payphone to call up a stripper chick who was a friend of mine who had just gotten off work to come pick me up (no i didnt fuck her ever and sorry no pics this was like 16 years ago) and she drove me to get something to 'soak' up the alcohol before dropping me off, i remember getting reeses cups (no clue if they actually help or not.

She dropped me off, and I walked up the stairs and by my dad without him saying anything about the stench of alcohol and puke I was covered in (he was maybe 10ft away watching a movie) and went to bed.

I still wonder to this day if he knew, I may ask him this weekend when I see him. I just don't get how he could have no smelled it, I woke up the next day and my room smelled nasty from my clothes laying on the floor so I am guessing he didn't say as it was the first (and last) time I ever got drunk and came home //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif

 
Nice. I threw up in my sisters bathroom the first time I got drunk. I even got a little in the toilet if ya know what I mean. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/wink.gif.608e3ea05f1a9f98611af0861652f8fb.gif

 
I was like Wholly F ck Tim!!!
or it was just a typo, but I can't remember what my actual first thought was, other than the floor is not for sleeping on. So I climb into bed and my wife asks if my pillow is still wet. At that point it didn't matter.

So in an attemp to turn this thread - WHATS The Most F-ed up drunk night thing to happen to yas? This aint my number one. I'll think of a better....
I dont remember //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/wink.gif.608e3ea05f1a9f98611af0861652f8fb.gif

 
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