>Subject: GOTTA LOVE THE SIMPLE FOLK???
>
>Top 8 morons of 2004... (Take a minute and have a good laugh)
>
> 1. AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he
> lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million
>severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
>
> 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
> Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to
>subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After
>firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was
>standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and
>give yourself up."
>
> 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
> A San Francisco man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a
>motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller
>machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own
>bank accounts.
>
> 4. THE GETAWAY!
> A man walked into a Sacramento Kwik Stop and asked for all the
>money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so to
>increase his income he tied up the store clerk and worked the
>counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
>
> 5. DID I SAY THAT???
> Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who
>just wouldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked
>each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money
>or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
>
> 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
> A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and
>her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first
>child?" the doctor asked. "No you idiot!" t he man shouted, "This is her
>husband!"
>
> 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
> In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for
>trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a
>thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed
>to keep his hand in his pocket, (hellllllooooooo!).
>
> 8. THE GRAND FINALE (You Gotta Love This One...!)
>Last summer, on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an
>hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were
> having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't
>get their brand new 22-ft boat going. It was very sluggish in almost
>every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After
>about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted over to a nearby
>marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A
>thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition.
>The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the
>propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys
>jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he
>was laughing so hard he gagged and almost drowned.
>
> This is true...
>
> Under the boat, still strapped securely in place , was the trailer.
