my first ****** experience

[bonesninja 5,000+ posts]

funny
but theres better ones out there..

the best ive read is the one where there talking, then the "girl" says she grabs a handful of vaseline and starts stroking her ****

wat?

 

[dragnix 5,000+ posts]

wat

 

[tRidiot 10+ year member]

Lie.... Diet Coke won't make you sticky.

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[95ZJ 10+ year member]

What terrible yeast infections she must get.

 

[da box king 10+ year member]

Weakkkk!

 

[Captain_Ahab 5,000+ posts]

heres my first ****** experience.....i was 8 years old, and the neighbor had a girl, she was like 10 or 11. One day her and i were in my treehouse and she asked to see my pecker. So i pulled my pants down and she told me that she saw her mom rubbing her dad's pecker back and forth and asked if i wanted her to do it to me. I sdaid yes...of course...so she yanked me off for like 10 minutes. Then .......... something happened. It pretty much hurt like hell and i had no idea what happened so i pulled my pants up and ran like hell. Later that night i went ot go pee and my **** head was swelled up like a balloon. I called my dad in there to look at it and he grilled me until i told him what happened and he laughed like hell and gave me an icepack to put on it.

Long story short, i had an orgazm before my peashooter could actually make sperm and it made my **** swell up like hell and it hurt for 2-3 days

i tried to do it again.....all by myself this time..................2 days after the swelling went down. Then i showed my disformed **** to some kids on the bus.

lmfao. wtf?

I don't recall my length of blanks, but the first load was a trip. I was like oh CRAP! I broke something!

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I remember shooting blanks myself.

 

[omgi0wn 10+ year member]

Rofl lol that's hilarious.

 

[blazinb2000 10+ year member]

I lol'd

 

[craigzter 10+ year member]

lmao...

 

[HeatSeeker 10+ year member]

I don't recall my length of blanks, but the first load was a trip. I was like oh CRAP! I broke something!

lol I remember teh blanks. I was like "oh noes not on my good pants" and ran to the bathroom as fast as I could, false alarm though ;[

Anyone else get like a cold rush up in your head the first couple times? Supposedly its endorphins being released, and youre not used to it so your body is kinda like "OH SHI-"

 

[fbi90909 5,000+ posts]

iirc my first ****** experience was when i was 7-8yrs old and living in georgia. across the street from my house i was at a neighbors playing in their pool with the kids an such. the neighbors youngest daughter which was like 5yrs somehow started liking me and was always rubbing on me and shit. at one point we escaped from all the other kids into a sandbox at a park maybe 100-150ft from their back yard. that was where i had my first dry hump. the girls mom popped up like 5 minutes later but didn't see exactly what we were doing. was quite awkward having to walk back really slowly to have my boner go away in the swim trunks. //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/redface.gif.62fdbfe1a101588a808c4cff71bcb942.gif

i beieve the first time i nutted i was wanking it in the bathroom with the shower running. i didn't really know much about masturbating back then and when i ejaculated i was like WTF!! i ended up playing with the mysterious spooge for a while getting to know the texture and smell. was a little weird. i think i was like 12-13 at that time.

 

[Banana Balls 5,000+ posts]

True.But you're still a ***.

Could be worse. At least I'm not retarded.

 

[PepsiFiend69 10+ year member]

i beieve the first time i nutted i was wanking it in the bathroom with the shower running. i didn't really know much about masturbating back then and when i ejaculated i was like WTF!! i ended up playing with the mysterious spooge for a while getting to know the texture and smell. was a little weird. i think i was like 12-13 at that time.

hahaha. first time was in the shower too, didn't know what to expect, and almost fell over.

 

[Captain_Ahab 5,000+ posts]

Funniest thing is when you first get a little dribble. I was like "This is all?"

 

[davidfre21 5,000+ posts]

Lie.... Diet Coke won't make you sticky.
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i was about to say the same thing, lies all lies...