ONE. Don't expect much. Anything extra you get is a bonus.
TWO. Marry a woman who lives to **** cawk. The more she sucks, the less she talks.
THREE. Don’t believe all you hear, your mother doesen't really love you.
FOUR. When you say, ‘I love you,’ *****es drop panties.
FIVE. When you say, ‘I’m sorry,’ cross your fingers behind your back.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. Two if they're rich.
SEVEN. Believe in love in love at first sight. Unless you're drunk when you meet the person.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone’s dream. Just call them stupid. It shatters the dream quicker.
NINE. Don't love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt and end up in jail if she cheats on you.
TEN. In disagreements, kick him in the balls.
ELEVEN. Don’t judge people by their relatives. Because sometimes the relatives are the good ones.
TWELVE. Talk quickly and think quickly. People won't notice you are lying to them.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer,
kick him in the balls.
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. But is it really worth it?
FIFTEEN. Say ‘God bless you’ when you hear someone sneeze. Well...yea.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, KICK HIM IN THE BALLS.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three S’s: Skeet skeet skeet!
EIGHTEEN. Don’t let a bitch injure a great friendship. Bros before hoes.
NINETEEN. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, find someone to blame it one.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller can see you through your window.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone... to fap.
