Dude...I just came from a funeral...and I left feeling happy. Now I read this and you got me all down. My uncle (my dad's older brother...the oldest of my Grandma's 8 kids) died of cancer that spread throughout his body within the course of 6 months of first acquiring throat cancer. He SUFFERED & died...it was obvious that he was in a lot of pain. He didn't have a peaceful death. You're not suffering. You aren't in pain. All I'm saying is this: don't give yourself a choice on how you wanna die. All of our days are numbered and the uncertainty of when that time comes is what makes living your life day by day all the more worthwhile. Appreciate what you do have & stop looking down on what you don't have.