Heavenly Clocks

[Drowsy 10+ year member]

Heavenly Clocks

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Everytime you lie, the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's." The hands had never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man "And whose clock is that one?" *

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock." The hands had moved twice. Telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.

"Where's President Bush's clock?" asked the man.

"President Bush's clock is in Jesus' office." St. Peter responded.

"President Bush's clock is so important it is in Jesus' office?" Asked, the man.

"Yes, he's using it as a ceiling fan." Responded St. Peter.

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[04_edge 10+ year member]

kk

 

[hoxie08 5,000+ posts]

wow. old. i remember when it was bill clinton.

 

[AC Slater 10+ year member]

i dont get it. if heaven is so great why would you need a cieling fan? //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/confused.gif.e820e0216602db4765798ac39d28caa9.gif

 

[hoxie08 5,000+ posts]

i dont get it. if heaven is so great why would you need a cieling fan? //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/confused.gif.e820e0216602db4765798ac39d28caa9.gif

lmao. too bad its not real.

 

[hoxie08 5,000+ posts]

i have a heavenly c0ck.

 

[Pop da Hatch 10+ year member]

i dont get it. if heaven is so great why would you need a cieling fan? //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/confused.gif.e820e0216602db4765798ac39d28caa9.gif

No central air //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/fyi.gif.9f1f679348da7204ce960cfc74bca8e0.gif

 

[Drowsy 10+ year member]

haha

I feel like getting high/drunk/laid right now.

 

[hoxie08 5,000+ posts]

why not all 3 at once?

 

[AC Slater 10+ year member]

why not all 3 at once?

judging by his user name, he is probably too tired.

 

[MTXman 10+ year member]

haha
I feel like getting high/drunk/laid right now.

Good 3 threesome there.

No pun intended lol

 

[hoxie08 5,000+ posts]

Good 3 threesome there.

No pun intended lol

lmao. the quote in your sig. funny.

 

[Drowsy 10+ year member]

Yes, except when Mr. Probation Officer says, step into this room with a cup of evil in his hand.

 

[budahbuddy803 10+ year member]

judging by his user name, he is probably too tired.

haha x2

 

[hoxie08 5,000+ posts]

Yes, except when Mr. Probation Officer says, step into this room with a cup of evil in his hand.

i'd piss in the cup then "trip" and throw it on his ugly face.