engineers read:

[xluben 10+ year member]

i got this in an e-mail today, and thought it was pretty funny, and most fit me perfectly:

Understanding Engineers - Take One Two engineering students were walkingacross a university campus when one said; "Where did you get such a great

bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,

minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw

it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes

probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Understanding Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Three A priest, a doctor, and an engineer

were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The

engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for

fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen

such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's

have a word with him." He said, "Hello, George! what's wrong with that

group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper

replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their

sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them

play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest

said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them

tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my

ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Four

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers - Take Five

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Six Three engineering students were gathered

together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It

was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No,

it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of

electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have

been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a

recreational area?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Seven Normal people believe that if it ain't

broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't

have enough features yet.

Understanding Engineers - Take Eight An engineer was crossing a road one

day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn

into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in

his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me

back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The

engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to

the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into

a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into

his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm

a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do

anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an

engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now

that's cool."

hope you enjoyed it!

Click to read more...

 

[j3bus2k3 5,000+ posts]

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif

Good read.

 

[phantom240 5,000+ posts]

lawlernuts

 

[MikeofTulsa Moderator]

nice

 

[jdc753 10+ year member]

Being a Civil Engineer student this is a great read. Going to foward it on to many of my friends at school. I'm sure they will get a kick out of it as well. We always get a good laugh from the civil vs mechanical joke, now more kindling to add to the fire.

 

[azbass 5,000+ posts]

Lol

 

[MikeyB 5,000+ posts]

HAHAHA thanks man, gotta save that one!

 

[tEh koRnDog 5,000+ posts]

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif

 

[MikeofTulsa Moderator]

i liked the last 3rd from the last the best

 

[Trey803 5,000+ posts]

Understanding Engineers - Take Six Three engineering students were gathered

together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It

was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No,

it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of

electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have

been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a

recreational area?"---------quote from above

I find that one to be the funniest

 

[reneeb7363 10+ year member]

Three engineering students were gatheredtogether discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It

was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No,

it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of

electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have

been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a

recreational area?"

Thats the best one! LAWL!!!

(Edit: just beat me to it!)

 

[MikeofTulsa Moderator]

Understanding Engineers - Take Six Three engineering students were gatheredtogether discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It

was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No,

it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of

electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have

been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a

recreational area?"---------quote from above

I find that one to be the funniest

Thats the best one! LAWL!!!
(Edit: just beat me to it!)

ummmm, yea, i already said that

 

[bk12321 10+ year member]

LOL at the art major

and i can relate to this being a future electrical engineer //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif

 

[acold7dusta 10+ year member]

good ones, i related to alot of them too

 

[xluben 10+ year member]

Being a Civil Engineer student this is a great read. Going to foward it on to many of my friends at school. I'm sure they will get a kick out of it as well. We always get a good laugh from the civil vs mechanical joke, now more kindling to add to the fire.

post 'em.

i'm an ME, but i haven't heard many of these types of jokes.

i thought most of these were pretty funny.