Banana Balls
5,000+ posts
Banned
Oops. I have a Java update waiting to be installed.
- Status
Banana Balls
DBfan187
5,000+ posts
Supa's mom was here!
An interview with World renowned health expert, Dr. Ima Numskul......
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A:Your heart is only good for so many beats,and that's it. Don't waste them on exercise.Everything wearsout eventually.Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;that's like saying you can extend thelifeof yourcar by driving it faster.Want to live longer?Take a nap.
Q:Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A:You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?Hay and corn. And what are these?Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism ofdelivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?Eat chicken.Beefis also a good source of field grass(green leafy vegetable).And a pork chop can give you100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all.Wine is made from fruit.Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water outof the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way.Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q:How can I calculatemy body/fat ratio?
A: Well,if you have a body and you have fatyour ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies,your ratio istwo to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q:Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A:YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! . . Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. Infact,they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a littlesoft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle,it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if youwant a bigger stomach
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q:Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure,explain whales to me.
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather an attempt to skid in sideways - Cabernet in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride!'
-------------------------------------------------
And . . . . .
For those of you who watch what you eat,here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2 The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3.The Chinese drink very little redwine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4.The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A:Your heart is only good for so many beats,and that's it. Don't waste them on exercise.Everything wearsout eventually.Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;that's like saying you can extend thelifeof yourcar by driving it faster.Want to live longer?Take a nap.
Q:Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A:You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?Hay and corn. And what are these?Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism ofdelivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?Eat chicken.Beefis also a good source of field grass(green leafy vegetable).And a pork chop can give you100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all.Wine is made from fruit.Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water outof the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way.Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q:How can I calculatemy body/fat ratio?
A: Well,if you have a body and you have fatyour ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies,your ratio istwo to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q:Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A:YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! . . Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. Infact,they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a littlesoft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle,it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if youwant a bigger stomach
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q:Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure,explain whales to me.
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather an attempt to skid in sideways - Cabernet in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride!'
-------------------------------------------------
And . . . . .
For those of you who watch what you eat,here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2 The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3.The Chinese drink very little redwine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4.The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Banana Balls
5,000+ posts
Banned
Smart doctor!
Randy Savage
5,000+ posts
CarAudio.com Veteran
andrew2944r Randy Savage 12-16-2008 1 Day 12-17-2008, ~06:00 PM 1 Day, 0 Hours 'Tis a wonderful avatar. You shall embrace the Savage.
DBBOOM Randy Savage 12-16-2008 1 Day 12-17-2008, ~06:00 PM 1 Day, 0 Hours Me>ICP
theking Randy Savage 12-16-2008 1 Day 12-17-2008, ~06:00 PM 1 Day, 0 Hours Savage/Tappin>you
Banana Balls
5,000+ posts
Banned
Calzowned!
Randy Savage
5,000+ posts
CarAudio.com Veteran
Machowned.
DBfan187
5,000+ posts
Supa's mom was here!
Toomachowned!
Banana Balls
5,000+ posts
Banned
HAY! You're not supposed to post in this thread. GTFO!
word.
yup.
tl;dr
room 12 table 14 for a game
I approve.
Captain_Ahab
5,000+ posts
BUCK FAMA
For $200 they better be damn comfortable.
I can't say much. I paid $140 for my custom colored Shox with my last name on the side.
//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/hilarious.gif.02a037aad04aa96f19982b298a3d70a8.gif
I woulda pissed my pants laughing.
Just signed up.
good job.lol.
Captain_Ahab
5,000+ posts
BUCK FAMA
your not there nga
Captain_Ahab
5,000+ posts
BUCK FAMA
guess ill go play deer hunter and kill 17 more bucks with my .44 revolver to get my golden revolver
- Status
Activity
No one is currently typing a reply...
About this thread
- Start date
- Participants
- Who Replied
- Replies
- 91,482
- Views
- 1,442,256
- Last reply date
- Last reply from
- ▼)Ñ╩fZΣµ&
