Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just
used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and
everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then
they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's
moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other
stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess
would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does
he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to
drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my
Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because
dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the
stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to
do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms works at work & works at home, & dads just go to
work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring
them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real
power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to
sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic. They make you feel better without
medicine.
What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think
some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room
clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my
sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible
eyes on her back.
THE MOMMY TEST
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked
up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where
it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration
and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," I was thinking quickly, "All moms know this stuff. It's
on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you
be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes,
but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test
you have to be the daddy."
"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and
joy in my heart.
