Two Rednecks Go Hunting

One day Bob and Sam went out hunting. After a little while of hunting they came upon this HUGE hole in the ground, as to which they couldnt see the bottom.

So Bob gets the idea to throw a fairly large stone into the hole to see if they could hear it hit bottom. Bob throws the stone and the both look and listen...nothing.... Well rummaging around Sam notices an old transmission laying in the bushes. They both pick it up, carry it over to the hole and throw it in..... they both look and listen.. Well a few seconds go by and pretty soon this goat comes rushing out of the bushes and heads straight into the hole! They both look at each other kind of puzzled. What was that all about asks Bob? Sam just shrugged his shoulders.

Well a few minutes later an ol farmer comes by and asks Bob and Sam if they had seen his goat... Well Bob said.. it was kind of weird.. this goat just came rushing out of the bushes over there and jumped right into the hole in a hurry!! Sam nods his head in agreement..

The ol' farmer scratches his head and says.. Well thats kind of weird, cause I had him tied up to an ol' transmission I had laying over there.

 
I got a kick out of it. But some also say im a redneck.
EXACTLY!!!! Im a certified country boy and thought that was funny shit.

It takes a breed of people like us to appreciate things like this //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif

 
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was

closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the

younger alien addressed it saying, Greetings, Earthling. We come in

peace. Take us to your leader.

The gas pump, of course, didnt respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, Id calm down if I were you.

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting.

Again, there was no response.

Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pumps haughty attitude, he

drew his ray gun and said impatiently, Greetings, Earthling. We come

in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will

fire!

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, You probably dont

want to do that! I really dont think you should make him mad.

Rubbish, replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the

pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball

roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and

deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus

patch.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he

refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked

dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking

his big, green head.

What a ferocious creature! exclaimed the young, fried alien. He

**** near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy

friend and replied, If theres one thing Ive learned during my

intergalactic travels, you dont want to mess with a guy who can wrap

his penis around himself twice and then stick it in his ear.

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif

 
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the

younger alien addressed it saying, Greetings, Earthling. We come in

peace. Take us to your leader.

The gas pump, of course, didnt respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, Id calm down if I were you.

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting.

Again, there was no response.

Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pumps haughty attitude, he

drew his ray gun and said impatiently, Greetings, Earthling. We come

in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will

fire!

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, You probably dont

want to do that! I really dont think you should make him mad.

Rubbish, replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the

pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball

roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and

deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus

patch.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he

refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked

dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking

his big, green head.

What a ferocious creature! exclaimed the young, fried alien. He

**** near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy

friend and replied, If theres one thing Ive learned during my

intergalactic travels, you dont want to mess with a guy who can wrap

his penis around himself twice and then stick it in his ear.

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif
Nother pretty good one!

 
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