Danica Wallace, 24, and her boyfriend, Eric Welch, 29, both intoxicated and stoned, just couldn’t wait ’till they got home to do the nasty…so, they pulled off the road and started going at it. Look at their mugs and imagine them nekkid–nobody should have to witness that shit. Just thinking about the two of them all nekkid and sweaty makes my brain itchy.
When an officer approached the car, he saw Danica, ***** from the waist down, mounting Eric, also unclothed from the waist down, in the passenger seat. There were two little ones, ages 3 and 1 hanging out in the back seat. When she dismounted the handsome stud, Danica told officers they pulled over to have *** because they couldn’t have *** at a friend’s house. Eric said, ‘We got horny and just wanted to ****!’ Also in the car, aside from the wee ones, were a couple of open beer bottles and a tin foil pipe with marijuana residue. Danica, a bit wobbly on her feet, told officers that she had only consumed a 22 oz. Budweiser and stated, ‘I’m not completely drunk.’ No, Danica, but you are a complete moron. She failed the field sobriety test. Her kids were handed off to a relative and Danica was hauled off to the pokey.
Danica told news reporters that it’s all just a big misunderstanding: ‘I was not having *** in the car, I promise,’ she said. ‘I spilled beer all over my pants and when I went to change my pants, the police pulled up and said that I was engaged in *** with my kids in the back seat.’ FAIL! She also had this to say, ‘I’m not a bad mother, really. I do admit I was drinking with my kids in the car.’ Again, FAIL! She was charged with two counts of endangering children, public indecency, drug paraphernalia and driving while intoxicated. Welch was charged with public indecency.
