The importance of good hygiene

[bonesninja 5,000+ posts]

I thought i'd share a few things with you guys...mostly for the youngsters here, us old guys for the most part seem to know the importance of good hygiene.

Let's face it, there is one very good reason to perform simple yet effective hygiene techniques.....Women. I'm not talking about mom or sis or grandma (unless you're a freak), No...i'm talking about that member of the opposite *** that in your mind you've already had intercourse with several times. Now the average drunk bar whore may not care alot about your hygiene but the girl who you REALLY wanna get with does.

Lets start with basic showering. Now i wish someone would have explained all this to me when i was a young man but i had to learn on my own so i give you 35 years of experience here guys. Alright, first is the frequency of the shower. This is dictated by what has transpired during the day and what you have planned later that day. I like to start my day with a blazing hot shower to get me fully awake. I always use one of those poofy lather thingys and start from the top and work my way down. I also use very good smelling body washs, such as TOne Exotic Fusions, Old Spice High Endurance or Dial for Men. I also let my man parts have at least 3 wash/rinse cycles with the last cycle leaving the lather on for at least 5 minutes. Man areas aren't like an arm or your face...they need some extra wash time to fully get the smell off. Also, it is imperative that you wash the backside fully. i won't get into a specific technique because every person is unique and needs to develop their own style. It is alos important to wipe good after a bowel movement to help accelerate the cleansing process in the shower.

Which leads me to the next subject...Wiping. Now i can tell from having multiple live-in gf's before i got married that chicks REALLY dig a good wiper. No self respecting woman wants to look at a pair of skiveys that look like little kids have been riding bikes through the crotch area. To help with my rear cleansing i always use a two fold process. First i use regular toilet paper to get the large stuff off and then i follow up with Baby Wipes. This will ensure complete removal of any lingering fecal matter.

Next, lets talk body hair. This is a matter of personal preference but at least for me, i find lots of hair utterly disgusting. Not only on a woman but on my owm body as well. I don't go as far as razoring my chest and man areas but i do use clippers to keep myself nice and trim. Also, i demand that my wife removes and hir from her woman regions as well. Nothing is nore disgusting than a mouthful of hair when performing the normal acts of love on your partner. Also, if a woman has hairy feet/toes....drop her and run away.

Next up would be deodorant. I always use a combination anti-perspirant/deodorant stick. I like Degree for Men Cool Rush in particular. Now the summer brings on certain odor challenges that are not as prevelant in the winter. For these extras wetness needs i like Baby Powder for the chest and lower back regions and Gold-Bond for the man areas. If you've ever used Gold Bond down there then you know what i mean.

Moving on ,we should discuss Hair. While many hair styles are completely acceptable, i choose to shave my head hair off. This drives many females wild as they like to rub the baldness and even lick it as well. One thing is common among any hairstyle tho...cleanliness is next to godliness. Wash your hair daily and groom yourself as well. No chick likes greasy nasty hair. And for us bald guys, if your skin is dry from shaving use some lotion. I like Aveeno for my dry skin needs.

Which takes us to skin care. If you have bad acne...go see a dermatologist, trust me, chicks don't dig the pimples. For dry ashy skin, use a lotion or moisturizer. It may seem girly, but in the end it'll pay off.

Oral hygiene is very important as well, once you've followed all the above procedures and you've gotten up close, nothing will kill your game like bad breath or food in your grill. Brush at least 3 times daily, flossing is recommended and always use a rinse like Listerene or Scope. Listerene is actually a anti-bacterial where as scope is just a rinse. If you need it, always carry some gum with you for emergencys

My last tips involve clothing. Make sure your clothes are always clean, pressed is always impressive. Too big of clothing is played out, today people are wearing more form fitting jeans and shirts. Make sure your shoes are cleaned up and scuff free. Always put on fresh socks and if you have a foot odor issue, put a little gold Bond down in your shoes too.

Okay boys, you are now ready to hit the streets looking for a chick to score with. Stick to my words here and all should be good

Click to read more...

 

[snb778 5,000+ posts]

good lord.... did you have a bad experience in the past or something...why the HUGE article on hygiene???

but props for all the effort

 

[bad @SS chevy 10+ year member]

wow bones,,, wow.

 

[bonesninja 5,000+ posts]

good lord.... did you have a bad experience in the past or something...why the HUGE article on hygiene???
but props for all the effort

i have had some bad experiences involving hygiene in the past, i got inspired in the shower right before i wrote this thread

 

[bad @SS chevy 10+ year member]

what about protection

 

[bonesninja 5,000+ posts]

nope...i dont even smoke

 

[bad @SS chevy 10+ year member]

what about protection

dddd

 

[bonesninja 5,000+ posts]

what about protection

i'm just trying to help you make it to that point...once you get there your on your own

 

[crunktimes.com 5,000+ posts]

Which way is best to wipe? I prefer back to front but have been told the opposite is the norm??

 

[Idealrealist 10+ year member]

Poofy.

 

[its_bacon12 10+ year member]

haha.. im sure this is more than useful for some of our fellow audio addicts

 

[bonesninja 5,000+ posts]

Which way is best to wipe? I prefer back to front but have been told the opposite is the norm??

back to front could be trecherous....one false move and you have poo matter smeared on your scrotum. I typically prefer front to the back.

 

[SyKo13 5,000+ posts]

Never in my 20 years of life have I used lotion...

 

[bonesninja 5,000+ posts]

haha.. im sure this is more than useful for some of our fellow audio addicts

see...the loud stereo stereotype probably includes poor hygiene...together we can overcome that part of the stereotype.

 

[SyKo13 5,000+ posts]

back to front could be trecherous....one false move and you have poo matter smeared on your scrotum. I typically prefer front to the back.

That's why you have baby wipes

Duhhh