In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed
through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
goods.
On Woolworth's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom)
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
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On Pick n' Pay's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
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On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if
we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those
bulldozers.)
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On a Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
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On a Clicks hair dryer - Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
====================================
On a bag of Simba Chips --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary!
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
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On a bar of Dove soap -
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)
============================
On some Checkers frozen dinners -
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(please note that it's just a suggestion.)
========================
On the packaging of a Rowenta iron -
"Don't iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
==============================
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because???....)
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On some brands of Christmas lights of Eastern origin:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)
==========================
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, please help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)
==============================
Instructions on a SA Airways packet of peanuts -
[1] Open packet;
[2] Eat nuts.
(Step 3: say what?)
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On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(Don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
========================
On a German chainsaw ..
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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Blessed are the cracked - for it is they who let in the light
