dont fvck.....with chuck!!!

18. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

wtf? lol

 
Little known facts...
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2. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

3. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

5. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

6. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

7. Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks.

9. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

14. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and simply saying, "Booya"

18.he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

23. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

24. Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger, it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris round house kicked in the face that day.

Funny ones

 
images


This would be Chuck Norris for the guy who didnt know.

24. Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger, it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris round house kicked in the face that day.

Id find it extremely funny if that was actually true. Did anyone ever watch the Conan O'Brien Show whenever he pulled the lever that played Norris clips?

 
I was just kidding about not knowing who he was.. just thought it would be funny, kinda like a whole group of people laughing about a guy then somebody just asks who he is.. and everyone gets quiet.

I love on connan when he does the walker texas ranger clips out of nowhere... good stuff and it really makes you realize how insanely funny that show was when it wasnt really supposted to be

 
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