D.amn I pwned my gf the other day FTW

[iLL-Faded 10+ year member]

I never quite figured out why the ****** urge of men and women differ so

much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I

have never figured out why men think with their head and women with

their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't

feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to

hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for

me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for

who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with

her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big

unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on

several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one

to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to

compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each

outfit."

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of

diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have

thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was

testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even

know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She

was almost nearing ****** satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is

all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't

feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,

"WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me

to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,

"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy

you?"

Apparently I'm not having *** tonight either... but at least that b1tch

knows I'm smarter than her.

Click to read more...

 

[PESteele 10+ year member]

haha nice she got owned

 

[dru 10+ year member]

I'm showing the girlfriend this.

 

[Storm90 10+ year member]

HAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!! She got OWNED!!!

 

[CJL 10+ year member]

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

I've heard this before....still funny

 

[Vicodin113 10+ year member]

SOO printing this out and showing my g/f this.

 

[Phreaker 10+ year member]

You are my hero.....LOL that is some of the funniest shit I have ever heard right there.

 

[revrider1 5,000+ posts]

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/hilarious.gif.02a037aad04aa96f19982b298a3d70a8.gif//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/rotflol.gif.b453361716769b8110ddefc85ff03cd2.gif//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/banghead.gif.8606515f668c74f6de0281deb475b6fd.gif

 

[TylerBD12 10+ year member]

HAHAHAHAHAHHA...thats pretty good

 

[smd4life 5,000+ posts]

nice...

 

[regal8r 5,000+ posts]

I never quite figured out why the ****** urge of men and women differ somuch. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I

have never figured out why men think with their head and women with

their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't

feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to

hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for

me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for

who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with

her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big

unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on

several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one

to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to

compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each

outfit."

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of

diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have

thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was

testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even

know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She

was almost nearing ****** satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is

all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't

feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,

"WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me

to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,

"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy

you?"

Apparently I'm not having *** tonight either... but at least that b1tch

knows I'm smarter than her.

sorry, but seen a joke like this not too long ago....stil funny as shit tho

 

[iLL-Faded 10+ year member]

moneygrubbin womens need to be PWND once in awhile.

My gf always pulls that stuff...

like I need to pay for EVERYTHING for her, because "traditionally, men do that for women."

The house was dirty as hell one day and she asked me to help her clean and I told her "Traditionally women clean"

She wasnt happy one bit, cause she knew I was mocking her.

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/biggrin.gif.d71a5d36fcbab170f2364c9f2e3946cb.gif

 

[onefalsemove 10+ year member]

*falls out of chair laughing*

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

 

[revrider1 5,000+ posts]

This by far is the funniest thing I have seen in a while...

Very true though...