chick's dad died yesterday, banged her anyway...

[tappin_azz 10+ year member]

"i'm going to make ya forget all about your dad dieing last night" i smoothly say as i carefully pop off tha buttons to my breakaways. she bashfully smiles out of tha corner of her mouth and looks upward at me as she kneels on my bed with her head down, looking vulnerable. i can feel tha tension in the room building as i open tha top drawer of my dresser and extract some of tha finest oils money can buy. pouring a generous amount into my hand i slowly lube up tha washboard bombstack 8pack. i'm so hard. I gently kick tha croc's off my feet and kneel down to line them up perfectly against my dresser and advance towards tha new tempurpedic mattress my chick is relaxin on.

this hoe and i have a little bit of a past. like many, she's been wanting tappin for a few years now. can't say i'm against it, she does in fact hit all tha items on my check list. a cute face with long brown hair, BMI under 19, a sick pair of bombs, and a fine dime piece backside. all tha virgins in the galaxy would be hump and bust with the quickness...but they dont kno. they don't kno about building the suspense, building the anticipation, in turn....building the insecurities. it's broken down into a simple math equation. (Rejection + Ridicule) x Affirmation^-8 = Deez Nuts. before long, they'll all be bending the tha will of my sweet, supple balls.

before reaching tha bed i catch my custom EFX darth vader mask out of tha corner of my eye. "yes!!!" i say to myself as I walk over to my desk and gingerly lift tha mask with both hands. Raising it high above my head i slowly place it over my head and and turn towards her. breathing heavy i see her eyes widen as her confusion and anxiety begins to grow. "I AM YOUR FATHER" i exclaim to her.

Looking back at me appalled she lets out an audible gasp as she motions to get off the bed. in a hurry I take off the mask and hold her hand. Looking deep into her eyes I say, "you dad is dead. i am sorry, but why ruin this?" Empathizing with her for a moment she begins to make herself comfortable on tha bed again. Breathing a sigh of relief i go for tha remote and turn on my coldplay/jack johnson mix to set tha mood as I begin to massage myself with my oils. Finally feeling slippery enough to lay some pipe I join her on tha bed and begin to whisper dirty things in her ear.

Click to read more...

 

[tat2bass 10+ year member]

NO CHICK EVER would sleep with a guy that spells "the" as "tha". Congrats on being the gayest gay guy here

 

[Jerhemy 10+ year member]

... funerals are insane, the chicks are so horny, its not even fair, its like fishing with dynamite ...

True story bromo^^

 

[RangerDangerV2 5,000+ posts]

respect.

 

[bhsdriller 10+ year member]

that's how we do...nice going

 

[SourDeez 10+ year member]

.........

So I put on my wizard robe and hat...

 

[Flex68 10+ year member]

lmfao, that post was pathetic, bro. tappin be losin his play, or has turned ***

 

[av83 10+ year member]

stool cory bro.

 

[ace_800 5,000+ posts]

Stity Shory Bro..you're losing it.

 

[dragnix 5,000+ posts]

That's how u do it playa, wat it do

 

[shpatb 10+ year member]

" it's alright honey, daddy can't disapprove of me anymore... "

 

[4OZGLOVES 10+ year member]

Should of left the mask on

What it do

 

[bubbagumper6 5,000+ posts]

meh, old tappin was better

 

[R34P3R 10+ year member]

I'm Mitt Romney, and I approve this message.

 

[tappin_azz 10+ year member]

meh, old tappin was better

give me time bro, i been on house arrest. hard to have epic stories when you cant leave tha trailer, yo!