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[duece212 5,000+ posts]

the gay vampire from twilight is watching you fap

 

[blackman 10+ year member]

fat bitches need blood too

 

[nate2587 10+ year member]

The sun doesn't make everyone glow

win

 

[Stalin-ohaulic]

"If he bite me, do I still run fasss? Cuz othawise a b!tch gon' starve. Sh!t I gotta kill like 40 deer a night to quench my thirst. Nuh uh... do they have like a Drac-Donalds or sumpin?"

Yup... write it down. eCrack said it b!tches.

 

[Stalin-ohaulic]

Or conversely

"He BETT' not bite me. He don't know who he fukkin' wit. I'm hungry as hail. If ANYONE gon' get bit it's he lil skinny white ***."

 

[Stalin-ohaulic]

Speaking of this... I have a joke for you guys.

3 vampires walk into a vampire bar.

The first vampire orders a bloody mary.

The second orders a Blood Light.

The third orders a hot cup of water.

The bartender gets the first two vampires their drinks. He leans in to the third and says "This is a vampire bar, so I gotta ask, why hot water?"

The third vampire whips out a used tampon and dips it into the water and replies "tea".

 

[DRATUNES 10+ year member]

the douche bag **** vamp has a hankerin for a big *** aunt jamima pig on a spigget, soowee!

 

[Racerx250 10+ year member]

Sittin on the toilet.

 

[lancer1978 10+ year member]

ohhhh Crap, Ecrack, I think you win...lol

 

[TMali 10+ year member]

 

[Compwizzard 10+ year member]

"Precious"