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<blockquote data-quote="DBfan187" data-source="post: 731685" data-attributes="member: 546747">A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. &quot;But how will I let you know the baby is born?&quot; she asked. He replied, &quot;Just send me a postcard and write &#039;spaghetti&#039; on the back. I&#039;ll take care of expenses.&quot; Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.  Six months went by and then one day the doctor&#039;s wife called him at the office and explained, &quot;Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don&#039;t understand what it means.&quot; The doctor said, &quot;Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you.&quot;  Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heartattack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, &quot;&#039;Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.&#039;&quot;__________________________________________________________________The doctor said, &quot;Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.&quot; Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn&#039;t concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men&#039;s clothing store &amp;amp; thought, &quot;That&#039;s what I need - a new suit.&quot; He entered the shop and told the salesman, &quot;I&#039;d like a new suit.&quot; The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, &quot;Let&#039;s see ... size 44 long.&quot; Joe laughed, &quot;That&#039;s right, how did you know?&quot; &quot;Been in the business 60 years!&quot; Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, &quot;How about a new shirt?&quot; Joe thought for a moment and then said, &quot;Sure.&quot; The salesman eyed Joe and said, &quot;Let&#039;s see, 34 sleeve &amp;amp; 16-1/2 neck.&quot; Again, Joe was surprised, &quot;That&#039;s right, how did you know?&quot; &quot;Been in the business 60 years!&quot; Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, &quot;How about new shoes?&quot; Joe was on a roll and said, &quot;Sure.&quot; The salesman eyed Joe&#039;s feet and said, &quot;Let&#039;s see ... 9-1/2 E.&quot; Joe was astonished, &quot;That&#039;s right, how did you know?&quot; &quot;Been in the business 60 years!&quot; Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, &quot;How about some new underwear?&quot; Joe thought for a second and said, &quot;Sure.&quot; The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe&#039;s waist and said, &quot;Let&#039;s see... size 36.&quot; Joe laughed. &quot;Ah ha! I got you! I&#039;ve worn size 34 since I was 18 years old.&quot; The salesman shook his head, &quot;You can&#039;t wear a size 34. A size 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache._____________________________________________________________________A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, &quot;Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?&quot; As the shopkeeper&#039;s heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he&#039;s on her level, and asks, &quot;Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?&quot; She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, &quot;I don&#039;t fink my pet python weally gives a thit.&quot;</blockquote>

[QUOTE="DBfan187, post: 731685, member: 546747"] [FONT=Arial]A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. [/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you." [/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"[/FONT] __________________________________________________________________ [FONT=Arial]The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."[/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store & thought, "That's what I need - a new suit."[/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve & 16-1/2 neck." Again, Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"[/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see ... 9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"[/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."[/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Joe laughed. "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.[/FONT] _____________________________________________________________________ [FONT=Arial]A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit.[/FONT]" [/QUOTE]

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