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<blockquote data-quote="sampson" data-source="post: 731614" data-attributes="member: 550716">Ok I got some time to kill lets see what I can remember.A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, &quot;Ma&#039;am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you&#039;ll forgive me.&quot; She replies, &quot;if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I&#039;m in room 1221A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. &quot;What can I get you?&quot; the bartender inquires.&quot;I want 10 shots of Everclear&quot; responded the young man. &quot;10 shots! Are you celebrating something?&quot; &quot;Yeah, my first blowjob.&quot;&quot;Well, in that case, let me give you a 11th on the house.&quot; &quot;No offence, sir. But if 10 shots won&#039;t get rid of the taste, Nothing will.&quot;One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says: &quot;I&#039;m sorry honey, I&#039;ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.&quot; The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: &quot;Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?&quot;A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife,&quot;Just think, honey, we&#039;ve been married for 50 years.&quot; Yeah,&quot; she replied, &quot;Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.&quot; &quot;I know,&quot; the old man said, &quot;We were probably sitting here ***** as jaybirds fifty years ago.&quot; &quot;Well,&quot; Granny snickered, &quot;What do you say..... should we get *****?&quot; Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. You know, honey,&quot; the little old lady breathlessly replied, &quot;My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.&quot; &quot;I wouldn&#039;t be surprised,&quot; replied Gramps. &quot;One&#039;s in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!.lol wonder what else I can get</blockquote>

[QUOTE="sampson, post: 731614, member: 550716"] Ok I got some time to kill lets see what I can remember. A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221 A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires."I want 10 shots of Everclear" responded the young man. "10 shots! Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob.""Well, in that case, let me give you a 11th on the house." "No offence, sir. But if 10 shots won't get rid of the taste, Nothing will." One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife,"Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years." Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here ***** as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say..... should we get *****?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!. lol wonder what else I can get [/QUOTE]

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