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<blockquote data-quote="Chevillac" data-source="post: 696282" data-attributes="member: 553407"><p>&gt;</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt;</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; Number One Idiot of 2004</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt;</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; A woman called the Emergency Poison Center very upset</p><p></p><p>because</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; she caught her little daughter eating ants. She was quickly</p><p></p><p>reassured</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; that ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring</p><p></p><p>her</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of</p><p></p><p>the</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; conversation and happened to mention that she gave her daughter</p><p></p><p>some</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; ant</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; poison to eat in order to kill the ants. She was told that she</p><p></p><p>better</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; bring her daughter into the Emergency room right away.</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt;</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; Number Two Idiot of 2004</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt;</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield</p><p></p><p>decided</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful</p><p></p><p>in</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it</p><p></p><p>for</p><p></p><p>a</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; towards</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the</p><p></p><p>emergency</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They</p><p></p><p>are no</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; longer employed at Boeing.</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt;</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet;</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; the paint might run.</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt;</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; Number Three Idiot of 2004</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt;</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this</p><p></p><p>iz a</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag" While standing in line,</p><p></p><p>waiting</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone</p><p></p><p>had</p><p></p><p>seen</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; him write the note and might call the police before he reached</p><p></p><p>the</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the</p><p></p><p>street</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed</p><p></p><p>his</p><p></p><p>note</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; spelling</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told</p><p></p><p>him</p><p></p><p>that</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on</p><p></p><p>a</p><p></p><p>Bank</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill</p><p></p><p>out a</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; somewhat</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few</p><p></p><p>minutes</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt;</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; Don't bother with this guy's sign.</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; He probably couldn't read it anyway.</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt;</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; Number Five Idiot of 2004</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt;</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier</p><p></p><p>put</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; the</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted</p><p></p><p>behind</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the</p><p></p><p>bag as</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; well, but the cashier refused and said, because I don't believe</p><p></p><p>you</p><p></p><p>are</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; over 21. " The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused</p><p></p><p>to</p><p></p><p>give</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the</p><p></p><p>robber</p><p></p><p>took</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.</p><p></p><p>The</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21</p><p></p><p>and</p><p></p><p>he</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store</p><p></p><p>with</p><p></p><p>his</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name</p><p></p><p>and</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested</p><p></p><p>the</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; robber two hours later.</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt;</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; This guy definitely needs a sign!</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt;</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; Idiot Number Six of 2004</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt;</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously</p><p></p><p>waving</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; revolvers. The first one houted, "Nobody move!" When his partner</p><p></p><p>moved,</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; the startled first bandit shot him.</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt;</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; This guy doesn't need a sign,</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; he probably figured it out himself.</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt;</p><p></p><p>&gt; Idiot Number Seven of 2004</p><p></p><p>Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He</p><p></p><p>decided</p><p></p><p>that</p><p></p><p>he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some</p><p></p><p>booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over</p><p></p><p>his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the</p><p></p><p>would</p><p></p><p>be</p><p></p><p>thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor</p><p></p><p>store</p><p></p><p>window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on</p><p></p><p>videotape.</p><p></p><p>Oh, that smarts.</p><p></p><p>Give him his sign.</p><p></p><p>Idiot Number Eight of 2004</p><p></p><p>Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a</p><p></p><p>man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M.,</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he</p><p></p><p>said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the</p><p></p><p>man</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for</p><p></p><p>&gt; &gt;&gt; &gt; breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Chevillac, post: 696282, member: 553407"] > > >> > > >> > Number One Idiot of 2004 > >> > > >> > A woman called the Emergency Poison Center very upset because > >> > she caught her little daughter eating ants. She was quickly reassured > >> > that ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her > >> > daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the > >> > conversation and happened to mention that she gave her daughter some > >> > ant > >> > poison to eat in order to kill the ants. She was told that she better > >> > bring her daughter into the Emergency room right away. > >> > > >> > Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride. > >> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >> > Number Two Idiot of 2004 > >> > > >> > Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided > >> > to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in > >> > getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a > >> > float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming > >> > towards > >> > them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency > >> > locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no > >> > longer employed at Boeing. > >> > > >> > Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; > >> > the paint might run. > >> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >> > > >> > Number Three Idiot of 2004 > >> > > >> > A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a > >> > downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a > >> > stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag" While standing in line, waiting > >> > to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen > >> > him write the note and might call the police before he reached the > >> > teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street > >> > to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note > >> > to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his > >> > spelling > >> > errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that > >> > she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank > >> > of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a > >> > Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking > >> > somewhat > >> > defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes > >> > later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. > >> > > >> > Don't bother with this guy's sign. > >> > He probably couldn't read it anyway. > >> > > >> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >> > Number Five Idiot of 2004 > >> > > >> > A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and > >> > demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put > >> > the > >> > cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind > >> > the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as > >> > well, but the cashier refused and said, because I don't believe you are > >> > over 21. " The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give > >> > it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took > >> > his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The > >> > clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he > >> > put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his > >> > loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and > >> > address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the > >> > robber two hours later. > >> > > >> > This guy definitely needs a sign! > >> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >> > > >> > Idiot Number Six of 2004 > >> > > >> > A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving > >> > revolvers. The first one houted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, > >> > the startled first bandit shot him. > >> > > >> > This guy doesn't need a sign, > >> > he probably figured it out himself. > >> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >> > > Idiot Number Seven of 2004 Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign. Idiot Number Eight of 2004 Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., > >> > a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man > >> > ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for > >> > breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [/QUOTE]
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