thinking about marriage...

[joetama 5,000+ posts]

why wait? just look at it logically....
let's say in the next two years, you both change a lot, because you both will since you're in college...

ok so you ask her to marry you, she says yes and you get married, then you change and end up getting divorced. that sucks. or even if you don't get married, you spent some serious money on a ring, then you guys split up because you both changed, and realized you're not right for each other. that sucks.

now say you don't propose, and you guys split up. no big deal.

but if you don't propose, then you guys stay together until you're out of college, and you both still want to marry each other, then who cares that you didn't propose 2 years ago or w/e.

basically, if you propose too early, you have something to lose.

if you don't propose, you have nothing to lose assuming you're spending the rest of your life with her.

Because your life won't be any better when you're engaged. Why are you so set on putting an expensive ring on her finger? After such a short time, you can't really KNOW what will happen. You will both change a lot over the next few years, and that commitment may cause undue stress on situations your relationship might live through otherwise. If you can survive trying to establish yourself in the world together, then marriage, children, and all the other changes that occur when spending your life with someone should be no problem.

TRUTH!

 

[DDeitz 10+ year member]

not to be a bubble burster, but you've only been together for 9 months. you're pretty much still in the "honeymoon phase"
i was with my last girl for just over a year, and right up until it ended, i thought she was the one and she said the same about me. then we broke up. now that i look back on it, i honestly can't believe we were together for too long.

take your time bro. if you're really the one, and she's really the one, you have your whole lives to worry about marriage. after all, marriage is just a label....

yep wait until your outta the honeymoon stage.

 

[deathwish666 10+ year member]

i totally know where your coming from...me and my girlfriend had the same discusion....honestly idk what it is with girls and being engaged...they act like it is marraige....but really i would just talk to her about it again

i mean whats the worst that could happen?...its not like shes going to break up with you because you want to make plans to get married in the future

 

[SRim23 5,000+ posts]

people evolve and change esp during their college years.why rush it if you guys know it will happen? let that marinate for a minute

hell i think this goes for most people 20-30. this time last year my girl and i had been together 2 years, still madly in love, everything perfect, and never a fight. in the last year or so we've really started to change. though were still doing well weve run into a couple bumps trying to merge both of our changes together.

im kind of in the same boat you are. id buy the ring tomorrow and put it on her finger but she says she doesnt want to be engaged until were actually ready for marriage (with careers and a good plan for the future). i dont understand what it hurts if we both know we want to be together to be engaged but im also not letting it bother me. i figure if were going to work out well work out whether we got the ring or not.

dont let it get you down and enjoy the best moments of ur life with ur girl.

 

[IamDeMan 5,000+ posts]

get through college ..
Get your careers going ..

If your still together by then ..

Then decide to pop the question ..

not to be a bubble burster, but you've only been together for 9 months. you're pretty much still in the "honeymoon phase"
i was with my last girl for just over a year, and right up until it ended, i thought she was the one and she said the same about me. then we broke up. now that i look back on it, i honestly can't believe we were together for too long.

take your time bro. if you're really the one, and she's really the one, you have your whole lives to worry about marriage. after all, marriage is just a label....

No need to add another element(engagement) into the mix that can possibly influence the seemingly perfect relationship you have now. If you don't plan to get married until after college then I don't understand why getting engaged now is a good idea. Jus chill

 

[tapout 5,000+ posts]

PM 2kchevy and ask him if things can change in an instant.

 

[maldecido33 10+ year member]

well, my girlfriend and i have been dating for 9 months now. we met at school (texas a&m univ), she's now going to be a sophmore and i'm going to be a junior. we've had our share of problems but we ALWAYS sort them out the next day. we can never get enough of each other, and i love her to death.
anyways, we went out to eat tonight and came back to her house and she said 'i want to marry you'. well, i've known for a while that she's 'the one' and its just a matter of when she realizes it too. we talked about it for a little while. i didn't want to freak her out or anything but she said she doesn't even want to be engaged until shes like a senior in college, meaning around 21-22 years old...

this has me thinking, why put an age limit on something like this? i understand wanting to be out of college to get married and i'm totally for that but the thought of even getting engaged seems out of the question to her.

i know i'm being a little rash w my decision making but i'm just a little confused as to how someone can say 'i want to marry you' but yet NOT want to even think about getting engaged?

anyways, what are yalls thoughts?

No matter what you think, you two are still in the "puppy love" stage. I'm only a couple of years older than you, and was in a very similiar situation. I started dating a girl when I was 17 and a senior in highschool and dated her for 3 years until I was 20 and a junior in college. We had always talked about it and all that, and "knew" we were going to be the one for each other. We ended up breaking up about 6 months ago, but are still friends and will probably be back together at sometime.

Now, the point is, you two have not been together NEAR long enough for all of the trials and tribulations that come with marriage / a serious relationship. If you two are really adament, go ahead and get engaged. However, you shouldn't get married until you two are out of school on your feet.

Also, do you support yourself completely and does she do the same? If yalls parents still support the two of you, then you are not ready for marriage. No matter what anyone says, if you marry someone and have to struggle to pay the bills the first couple of years, it will almost always fail the mail due to the added stress.

In sum, there are many reasons to wait. Enjoy your college years together in a serious relationship, but theres no reason you can't put off the symbolicy of marriage.

 

[Zxcvtypo 10+ year member]

things always change, no matter what you think or how certain you are of it. the rest of my college life will be lived as a bachelor, over halfway through and this is the first chance i get. may as well make it last! //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/biggrin.gif.d71a5d36fcbab170f2364c9f2e3946cb.gif

if you can manage to work it out, good for you. that's pretty rare.

 

[lilmaniac2 5,000+ posts]

9 months and your considering marriage LMFAO

I been with my g/f for 4 years now, and still learn new things everyday. Graduate college and then get married.

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

I have been with mine 8 and my gf wants to get married. I want to wait....At least a year, and a few months living together. I don't think she has any skeletons in her closet, but life is different when you have to see that person every day.

 

[Louisiana_CRX 5,000+ posts]

life is too short for marriage...but i was young and dumb once.....

 

[wu501 10+ year member]

take everybody's advice and wait. All relationships can seem great the first year.

 

[Crutch 10+ year member]

At least live with her for a year before you handcuff yourself. Make **** sure you can co-habitate first. Get as much strange ***** now while you still can. Cause once your married it smells the same, looks the same, tastes the same etc., etc....

 

[TurdFergueson2 5,000+ posts]

well, my girlfriend and i have been dating for 9 months now. we met at school (texas a&m univ), she's now going to be a sophmore and i'm going to be a junior. we've had our share of problems but we ALWAYS sort them out the next day. we can never get enough of each other, and i love her to death.
anyways, we went out to eat tonight and came back to her house and she said 'i want to marry you'. well, i've known for a while that she's 'the one' and its just a matter of when she realizes it too. we talked about it for a little while. i didn't want to freak her out or anything but she said she doesn't even want to be engaged until shes like a senior in college, meaning around 21-22 years old...

this has me thinking, why put an age limit on something like this? i understand wanting to be out of college to get married and i'm totally for that but the thought of even getting engaged seems out of the question to her.

i know i'm being a little rash w my decision making but i'm just a little confused as to how someone can say 'i want to marry you' but yet NOT want to even think about getting engaged?

anyways, what are yalls thoughts?

I bet she's been shitted on most of her life and you're the one good thing that's come along. People will tell you to enjoy life and all that shit, but what I say is think it through. Wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone and thinking you can are 2 different things. Here's my advice...... Start thinking up nasty shit to do to her in bed. Say you want to tie her up and play with her *** and all of that. Pee on her in the shower. Every perverted thing you ever wanted to do, do it to her. Tell her you want to try everything with her. If she lets you, you got a winner. If you get a bunch of nos and that's nasty, imagine when it isn't so hard to walk away. Imagine on your 10th anneversary, and you want to squirt in her face and she don't let you. You'll want to get it from somewhere else. To me *** is a HUGE part of a relationship. It ranks up there with money and feelings.

She wants to marry you because you make her feel secure.

Pics of said GF?

Also, I know two professors at A&M. The Larke's. I used to go out with their daughter. She could have been the one, but some of the above I got a lot of nos about.

 

[Flipx99 5,000+ posts]

I would never want to pee on a girl who I am really interested in being with. You are a crazy person.