thinking about marriage...

[954runner 10+ year member]

well, my girlfriend and i have been dating for 9 months now. we met at school (texas a&m univ), she's now going to be a sophmore and i'm going to be a junior. we've had our share of problems but we ALWAYS sort them out the next day. we can never get enough of each other, and i love her to death.

anyways, we went out to eat tonight and came back to her house and she said 'i want to marry you'. well, i've known for a while that she's 'the one' and its just a matter of when she realizes it too. we talked about it for a little while. i didn't want to freak her out or anything but she said she doesn't even want to be engaged until shes like a senior in college, meaning around 21-22 years old...

this has me thinking, why put an age limit on something like this? i understand wanting to be out of college to get married and i'm totally for that but the thought of even getting engaged seems out of the question to her.

i know i'm being a little rash w my decision making but i'm just a little confused as to how someone can say 'i want to marry you' but yet NOT want to even think about getting engaged?

anyways, what are yalls thoughts?

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[dvrmstrng 5,000+ posts]

**** that bro...ditch her and enjoy college while you still can...you sound like i did back in freshman year

 

[BigE 10+ year member]

i agree with dvrstrng .. dont get a child eighter .. child support kills //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/frown.gif.a3531fa0534503350665a1e957861287.gif

 

[Harleyfx69 10+ year member]

get through college ..

Get your careers going ..

If your still together by then ..

Then decide to pop the question ..

 

[Hintzyboy 5,000+ posts]

At least wait until you are both out of college. If you are both trying to set up lives together, it will be alot easier that way. Especially because you will have been out for a couple years when she graduates, meaning you will have had time to gain some real world experience. This will mean you already have an established job, meaning you can start a life much easier. Or if you need to relocate for her career, you will have spent time in the work place, gaining experience and building references, which will make it easier to get a good job wherever you relocate.

There is too much uncertainty facing college students when they first graduate. At least one of you should have a steady foundation before you get in that deep. Otherwise, you will be placing a lot of extra stress on your relationship. Remember that money problems are major contributors to the majority of divorces.

 

[954runner 10+ year member]

i don't want to get married while i'm in college. i agree with you that we should wait until we both graduate or at least one of us graduates before that. but if we both are certain that we do in fact want to get married, why not get engaged? do you see that as a problem? would it be bad to be engaged for several years? i just don't see why we can't until a certain age.

 

[yne721 10+ year member]

not to be a bubble burster, but you've only been together for 9 months. you're pretty much still in the "honeymoon phase"

i was with my last girl for just over a year, and right up until it ended, i thought she was the one and she said the same about me. then we broke up. now that i look back on it, i honestly can't believe we were together for too long.

take your time bro. if you're really the one, and she's really the one, you have your whole lives to worry about marriage. after all, marriage is just a label....

 

[stopdrpnro 10+ year member]

people evolve and change esp during their college years.why rush it if you guys know it will happen? let that marinate for a minute

 

[BigE 10+ year member]

listen to vicente fernandez , drink .. and if you cry and talk about her ... shes the one .. if not just wait and see and Hintzyboy has great advice for you

 

[954runner 10+ year member]

not to be a bubble burster, but you've only been together for 9 months. you're pretty much still in the "honeymoon phase"
i was with my last girl for just over a year, and right up until it ended, i thought she was the one and she said the same about me. then we broke up. now that i look back on it, i honestly can't believe we were together for too long.

take your time bro. if you're really the one, and she's really the one, you have your whole lives to worry about marriage. after all, marriage is just a label....

i understand and of course we've only been together for a "relatively" short time, but i must retort, we only have one life, why wait?

 

[brtnboarder3241 5,000+ posts]

DONT RUIN YOUR LIFE:crap://content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif:crap://content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif:crap://content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif:crap://content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif:crap://content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/crap.gif.7f4dd41e3e9b23fbd170a1ee6f65cecc.gif

 

[joetama 5,000+ posts]

I agree with the advise of everyone that says wait till you are out of college.

You are still young man. I've been with my GF for 1 year 4 months and there is no way I would get married yet. Even if she is the one I'm waiting till I'm 25 at a minimum 30 is better. That's 2.5 to 7.5 years.

I'm not saying that you wouldn't work out with her. And I'm not telling you she isn't the one. But, getting married young just complicates things. Keep it simple until you have nothing better to do but work your 9-5.

Also, when girls say that they mean more "I could see my self marrying you" or "someday I could see myself being married to you".

BTW, what is your and her major? Do you both plan on going to the same place once you graduate?

 

[joetama 5,000+ posts]

i understand and of course we've only been together for a "relatively" short time, but i must retort, we only have one life, why wait?

Live life for now...

Don't live life for labels...

//content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/fyi.gif.9f1f679348da7204ce960cfc74bca8e0.gif Life is longer than it seems...

 

[yne721 10+ year member]

i understand and of course we've only been together for a "relatively" short time, but i must retort, we only have one life, why wait?

why wait? just look at it logically....

let's say in the next two years, you both change a lot, because you both will since you're in college...

ok so you ask her to marry you, she says yes and you get married, then you change and end up getting divorced. that sucks. or even if you don't get married, you spent some serious money on a ring, then you guys split up because you both changed, and realized you're not right for each other. that sucks.

now say you don't propose, and you guys split up. no big deal.

but if you don't propose, then you guys stay together until you're out of college, and you both still want to marry each other, then who cares that you didn't propose 2 years ago or w/e.

basically, if you propose too early, you have something to lose.

if you don't propose, you have nothing to lose assuming you're spending the rest of your life with her.

 

[Hintzyboy 5,000+ posts]

i understand and of course we've only been together for a "relatively" short time, but i must retort, we only have one life, why wait?

Because your life won't be any better when you're engaged. Why are you so set on putting an expensive ring on her finger? After such a short time, you can't really KNOW what will happen. You will both change a lot over the next few years, and that commitment may cause undue stress on situations your relationship might live through otherwise. If you can survive trying to establish yourself in the world together, then marriage, children, and all the other changes that occur when spending your life with someone should be no problem.