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Crunk Times, My friend.....Crunk Times

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I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around the rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you *******.

 
Okay. My Friday night fight story as promised.

After the huge block party/concert I was texting the girl I hooked up with two Thursdays ago. The one who had all the candles and sh1t lit in her room when I walked in. They were partying at her house and wanted us to come over. So end up going over there and I see this guy who looks terribly familiar.An hour later they call him "Bubba" and I IMMEDIATELY realize who he is.

Some of you may remember my black eye, swole up jaw this past May..Well I was leaving a party when this Bubba character started randomly talking sh1t. I was gonna fight, but decided against it and just turned and walked off. As I was walking off, i heard footsteps behind me. Turned around and caught a fist to the temple that knocked me out. Bubba and his friend proceeded to beat the fk out of me while I was knocked out.

So when I find out its Bubba, I just stare at him. He finally notices and says "Man you gonna stare at me all night or you gonna do something? That was a drunk night". It was just him and his 6'3" 250lb friend there where as I had about 7 people. So i stood up and he ran inside the girl's house. What a puss. He sits on the couch between the 3 girls and I walk in and he tenses up.. But i am not gonna disrespect their house and hit a guy smooshed between three girls..

So we go back outside and his big friend (fat) is on the phone saying "Man its getting deep, yall better get here quick". So I decide to have fun with this. I start being friendly with big guy and he is being an *******. I keep walking inside and each time Bubba would tense up ready for me to hit him. But i didn't want to start nothing at ol girl's house and I decided against doing anything. I knew he was scared, and that was a win to me.

Well a little while later their "backup" arrives and they look dam near like high schoolers. One had to be in high school actually, and the others were freshman. We are all inside the house chilling when one of the freshman breaks open a fifth of barnett's apple vodka. He starts begging me to chug some, and I knew they were trying to get me drunk to whoop my ***. So i chug some and pass it. Most people decline and it comes back to me. I chug some more. Well the guy starts talking sh1t about how he is drinking most of it and i'm a puss. I tell him I am not in high school anymore, have been drinking since 6:00 (its 2:00) and don't want to get any drunker. he smarts off and starts talking shit. I calmly reply.. About this time my friend whispers in my ear everyone is waiting to jump me outside. 4 of my friends had left so it was like 8-9 of his guys now and 4 of us. I didn't give a fk...

Dude with the Vodka finally calls me outside when I am explaining to him how I am not drinking anymore. I look at my black room mate and tell him I hope hes ready.

So i step outside and everyone is waiting on us to fight. The dude with the vodka is about 6' 170lbs. I walk towards him and his friend is keeping him back saying it isn't worth him to beat my ***. I LOL'D, and walked up to dude to shake his hand cause I didn't want to fight. I'm just not that type. Dude smarts off to me again so I just lay his *** the **** out with a left jab while my right hand is still outstretched to shake his. I hop on top of him and he curls up in the fetal position barely moving. Pound the fk out of his head trying to get to his face when they pull me up. I was expecting a lot of people to jump on me.

I was in a rage and immediately called out Bubba and they said he left (later find out he was hiding in the trailer in a girl's bedroom). So then I turn to his 6'3 250lb friend and tell him to bring his fat *** on... he gets in his truck and leaves!!!! LMFAO.. All of their friends ***** out when I finally bring it.. My friends are just laughing their *** off at the situation.

I go back on the porch and apologize to the girl and about this time the dude I hit who had been nursing his ****ed up lip starts wanting to fight someone else i was with. So i walk down here and tell him to come on, but he declines. One of the girls who lived there said if we had a problem with Bubba than to leave.. So we did.

Cliffs: Find dude who jumped me this past May but decide not to do anything cause im not the fighting type. He was scared sh1tless the whole night of me anyway. His "backup" comes and tries getting me really drunk to jump me. Well the vodka has the reverse affect and sends me into a rage. Beat one of his friends ***, call others out and everyone ******* out.

 
I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around the rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you *******.
Click to expand...
Old but I love it.
Whoever wrote that doesn't understand metaphors or math.
Click to expand...
Whoever picks apart and analyzes that doesn't understand sarcasm or humor.

 
Okay. My Friday night fight story as promised.
After the huge block party/concert I was texting the girl I hooked up with two Thursdays ago. The one who had all the candles and sh1t lit in her room when I walked in. They were partying at her house and wanted us to come over. So end up going over there and I see this guy who looks terribly familiar.An hour later they call him "Bubba" and I IMMEDIATELY realize who he is.

Some of you may remember my black eye, swole up jaw this past May..Well I was leaving a party when this Bubba character started randomly talking sh1t. I was gonna fight, but decided against it and just turned and walked off. As I was walking off, i heard footsteps behind me. Turned around and caught a fist to the temple that knocked me out. Bubba and his friend proceeded to beat the fk out of me while I was knocked out.

So when I find out its Bubba, I just stare at him. He finally notices and says "Man you gonna stare at me all night or you gonna do something? That was a drunk night". It was just him and his 6'3" 250lb friend there where as I had about 7 people. So i stood up and he ran inside the girl's house. What a puss. He sits on the couch between the 3 girls and I walk in and he tenses up.. But i am not gonna disrespect their house and hit a guy smooshed between three girls..

So we go back outside and his big friend (fat) is on the phone saying "Man its getting deep, yall better get here quick". So I decide to have fun with this. I start being friendly with big guy and he is being an *******. I keep walking inside and each time Bubba would tense up ready for me to hit him. But i didn't want to start nothing at ol girl's house and I decided against doing anything. I knew he was scared, and that was a win to me.

Well a little while later their "backup" arrives and they look dam near like high schoolers. One had to be in high school actually, and the others were freshman. We are all inside the house chilling when one of the freshman breaks open a fifth of barnett's apple vodka. He starts begging me to chug some, and I knew they were trying to get me drunk to whoop my ***. So i chug some and pass it. Most people decline and it comes back to me. I chug some more. Well the guy starts talking sh1t about how he is drinking most of it and i'm a puss. I tell him I am not in high school anymore, have been drinking since 6:00 (its 2:00) and don't want to get any drunker. he smarts off and starts talking shit. I calmly reply.. About this time my friend whispers in my ear everyone is waiting to jump me outside. 4 of my friends had left so it was like 8-9 of his guys now and 4 of us. I didn't give a fk...

Dude with the Vodka finally calls me outside when I am explaining to him how I am not drinking anymore. I look at my black room mate and tell him I hope hes ready.

So i step outside and everyone is waiting on us to fight. The dude with the vodka is about 6' 170lbs. I walk towards him and his friend is keeping him back saying it isn't worth him to beat my ***. I LOL'D, and walked up to dude to shake his hand cause I didn't want to fight. I'm just not that type. Dude smarts off to me again so I just lay his *** the **** out with a left jab while my right hand is still outstretched to shake his. I hop on top of him and he curls up in the fetal position barely moving. Pound the fk out of his head trying to get to his face when they pull me up. I was expecting a lot of people to jump on me.

I was in a rage and immediately called out Bubba and they said he left (later find out he was hiding in the trailer in a girl's bedroom). So then I turn to his 6'3 250lb friend and tell him to bring his fat *** on... he gets in his truck and leaves!!!! LMFAO.. All of their friends ***** out when I finally bring it.. My friends are just laughing their *** off at the situation.

I go back on the porch and apologize to the girl and about this time the dude I hit who had been nursing his ****ed up lip starts wanting to fight someone else i was with. So i walk down here and tell him to come on, but he declines. One of the girls who lived there said if we had a problem with Bubba than to leave.. So we did.

Cliffs: Find dude who jumped me this past May but decide not to do anything cause im not the fighting type. He was scared sh1tless the whole night of me anyway. His "backup" comes and tries getting me really drunk to jump me. Well the vodka has the reverse affect and sends me into a rage. Beat one of his friends ***, call others out and everyone ******* out.
Click to expand...
See, she kicked you out anyway, you should have beat his *** on the couch.

 
See, she kicked you out anyway, you should have beat his *** on the couch.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I know..At one time he had his back turned to me sitting on the edge of the deck. All my friends told me to go up and kick his *** off the deck. I seriously thought about kicking him in the face, then jumping off the deck and landing a flying elbow.

Had I known I would have gotten kicked out and no puss, i would have did that. It took me 3 months, to find him..But I will find him again and no hesitation this time.

The fact he was scared sh1tless and hid from me tickles me to death though.

 
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bdawson72

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