Crunk Times, My friend.....Crunk Times

[Speedbump3]

Because I am anti-confrontational, you should know that.

LOL true.

 

[Speedbump3]

So....
I break up and feel guily because I am supposedly being selfish. I don't breakup and I feel guilty for perpetuating a lie.

You are going to feel bad no matter what. I am not disagreeing with the break up. It was an obviously correct move. I disagree with the reasoning you are telling yourself. I think the faster you are honest with yourself about the break up. The sooner you will move on and stop dwelling on it.

While you loved being with her and genuinely care for her feelings, in the end choices have to be made that benefit you the most. Nothing wrong with selfishness sometimes. Like i said, break ups are always selfish. There is no way around that fact. Break ups have to be selfish. There comes a point where you decide if the compromise is too steep for you to take or not. Then you decide to take the compromise or end it.

It's just like women saying it's me not you. lol

 

[Tiger Bass 5,000+ posts]

Well, I iniated the breakup, not her. I feel like I shouldn't hurt but I still do.
The primary motivator is that I simultanously wanted the aspects of being single and being with someone. Not that I wanted to chase other women...more about being alone, reflecting, thinking, and trying to figure out who I am and what I want out of life. I am still trying to gain responsibility and basically just have a good understanding of me...if that makes any sense.

I loved being with her, I really did. I just felt like I was dragging her along while I am so mixed up. She has became a victim to my confusion. I love her so I wanted to quit hurting her. She is so much more mature than me...I feel she knows exactly what she wants from life and I have a hard time picking out clothes to wear to work. She wants to be married with less than four kids. I don't know if I ever want to be married at all. It isn't fair for me to waste away her life only to figure out later that I don't want any of the things that she wants. I feel that when I figure out what I want, I should give her a call and if at that time we want the same things we should get back together.

You articulate your feelings so well...I almost think this has something to do with your confusion. You over analyze everything.

As the others have said, a mature reasoning nonetheless, and a very respectable one.

 

[TulsaMike 10+ year member]

Well, I iniated the breakup, not her. I feel like I shouldn't hurt but I still do.
The primary motivator is that I simultanously wanted the aspects of being single and being with someone. Not that I wanted to chase other women...more about being alone, reflecting, thinking, and trying to figure out who I am and what I want out of life. I am still trying to gain responsibility and basically just have a good understanding of me...if that makes any sense.

I loved being with her, I really did. I just felt like I was dragging her along while I am so mixed up. She has became a victim to my confusion. I love her so I wanted to quit hurting her. She is so much more mature than me...I feel she knows exactly what she wants from life and I have a hard time picking out clothes to wear to work. She wants to be married with less than four kids. I don't know if I ever want to be married at all. It isn't fair for me to waste away her life only to figure out later that I don't want any of the things that she wants. I feel that when I figure out what I want, I should give her a call and if at that time we want the same things we should get back together.

very mature and logical response.

You articulate your feelings so well...I almost think this has something to do with your confusion. You over analyze everything.
As the others have said, a mature reasoning nonetheless, and a very respectable one.

i tend to agree.

 

[Captain_Ahab 5,000+ posts]

At least Flip thinks an analyzes his surroundings before he makes decisions unlike 95% of other people.

Flip reminds me of a Transcendentalist such as Emerson and Thoreau.

 

[Banana Balls 5,000+ posts]

Well, I iniated the breakup, not her. I feel like I shouldn't hurt but I still do.
The primary motivator is that I simultanously wanted the aspects of being single and being with someone. Not that I wanted to chase other women...more about being alone, reflecting, thinking, and trying to figure out who I am and what I want out of life. I am still trying to gain responsibility and basically just have a good understanding of me...if that makes any sense.

I loved being with her, I really did. I just felt like I was dragging her along while I am so mixed up. She has became a victim to my confusion. I love her so I wanted to quit hurting her. She is so much more mature than me...I feel she knows exactly what she wants from life and I have a hard time picking out clothes to wear to work. She wants to be married with less than four kids. I don't know if I ever want to be married at all. It isn't fair for me to waste away her life only to figure out later that I don't want any of the things that she wants. I feel that when I figure out what I want, I should give her a call and if at that time we want the same things we should get back together.

While his reasoning is acceptable. Much better than I just wanted to try other flavors, etc. His portraying it in the light he is not. It isn't that noble. Breaking up with someone is ALWAYS a selfish event by nature.
It should be too.

Sounds like a sound financial decision to me. But what do I know.

BTW- people change every 7-10 in drastic ways.

Just when you think you've got yourself figured out this time, you'll discover otherwise.

 

[TulsaMike 10+ year member]

who's AE are you?

 

[Banana Balls 5,000+ posts]

who's AE are you?

MikeofTulsa //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif

 

[2kchevy06civic 5,000+ posts]

It may be selfish but at least his "reasoning," is better than making excuses. It sounds like he actually put "thought," into it rather than just saying, "what can I do to end this."

ya know?

 

[2kchevy06civic 5,000+ posts]

I'm not saying that out of bitterness either, I'm just simply stating that his reasons sound justifiable.

 

[TulsaMike 10+ year member]

MikeofTulsa //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif

I have no AE's

 

[Banana Balls 5,000+ posts]

It was just a female. Nothing to get worked up over.

 

[icpurplepplalot 5,000+ posts]

Just as other have said, your reasoning was very mature, but I have to agree with speed, it does seem as if you did this for you and not her.

I'll also agree that being selfish is not always a bad thing, and breakups are always done for some sort of selfish reason. I'm sure you will grow from this, as you say you want to become more mature and responsible.

I hope for the best man.

 

[2kchevy06civic 5,000+ posts]

I have no AE's

what are you on right now //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/tongue.gif.6130eb82179565f6db8d26d6001dcd24.gif:

 

[2kchevy06civic 5,000+ posts]

Do Not Want!!!!


Just as other have said, your reasoning was very mature, but I have to agree with speed, it does seem as if you did this for you and not her.

I'll also agree that being selfish is not always a bad thing, and breakups are always done for some sort of selfish reason. I'm sure you will grow from this, as you say you want to become more mature and responsible.

I hope for the best man.

it may be selfish but at least he broke it off rather than just dragging her along(like he said). It sounds very mature.