Shit son, you never figure it out. I still make rookie mistakes. For example, the other afternoon my wife asked me if I wanted to go out to eat with another couple later that night. Foolishly, I answered the specific question that she asked and the answer was "no." I should have known better.
She was pissed later.
The thing is that if she had said, "I would like for us to go out to eat with [whoever]" I would have said, "great, let's go." No big deal.
I think it is ridiculous to have to either (a) guess, what she means, or (b) drag it out of her with unnecessary questioning. If you want to know whether I want go, then ask that. If you want to know whether I will agree to go because it is important to you, then by all means say so.
Again, I should know better --- but I slip up from time to time and rely on logic.