Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? you do?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Its automated
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
because we cant confirm the stars thing
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Air
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
protocol
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
he doesnt exist
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
He didnt
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
communications
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
a person with a lisp
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
reproduction
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
science
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
what?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
fat people
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
testing the vacuum
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
idiot
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
they fly, then crawl
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?'
manners
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
people are clumsy
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
ummm, thats just dumb
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
isnt he part of in-laws?
